Saving money, seeing old friends, eating a home-cooked meal every night… living at home for the summer definitely has its benefits. But “too good to be true” is a saying for a reason, and typical family friction and old arguments are bound to come up again. Not to mention the added frustration as you transition into an independent college student. Her Campus is here to help you through those annoying arguments with the advice of Dr. Roy Stefanik, a psychiatrist who specializes in working with college students.
Problem: “My mom is constantly trying to push boys on me and asks me why I don’t date more often.” –Kate, Ohio University
Solution: College is a chance for you to explore your sexuality and figure out how to build your own relationships, and for some people that may not mean always having a boyfriend. Dr. Stefanik suggests you talk to your mom about how having a boyfriend might make it harder to figure out who you are on your own, and you’d rather focus on yourself and not get bogged down in a relationship until you have your future and goals a bit more worked out. And a lot of times, parents just don’t get that people date a lot less than they used to, at least in the traditional way. Try explaining to her that you might have a short fling with a guy before it fizzles out, or that everyone at your school is more into casual hookups than long-term relationships. She may be surprisingly cool about it!
Problem: “I want to change my major, but my parents think I’m being unrealistic and childish.” - Lynn*, Duquesne University
Solution: No one says you have to stick with your major ‘til graduation do you part. It takes years, sometimes even decades, to figure out for sure what you want to be “when you grow up”, and college is only the beginning. Dr. Stefanik says, “The average person has at least three different careers during her lifetime, and this is the time to experiment with what you want to do.” Talk about your parents’ concerns, and show them how serious you are about finding a career that is both challenging and enjoyable. Do some research on your chosen field to prove to them that you’re serious about your decision. For example, if your ‘rents are set on you going pre-med but you’re just dying to try graphic design, show your family projects you’ve been working on and share what firms or industries you hope to design for after school.
