Well, single ladies. You’ve survived the holidays and thought you were free and clear of any questions about your terminal relationship status. Think again because if you haven’t seen the array of cutesy cards and adorable teddy bears dominating the shelves of Target, you might have forgotten Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. Instead of moping around about your lack of Prince Charming, why not let the Invisible Boyfriend app help you out? For just $24.99, this unbelievably thorough service lets you create your own man who will send you loads of relationship proof in the form of texts, voicemails, and even handwritten notes. Below, we’ve thought of 7 scenarios where Invisible Boyfriend will come quite in handy.
1. Your friends keep trying to set you up
You’re perpetually single and all your committed friends are starting to feel sorry for you. And while you’re okay with your relationship status they insist on setting you up with their less-than-attractive cousin from two towns over. No thanks.
2. Your parents want to know why you’re not giving the old college try at meeting the “one”
Oh, parents. It’s hard to believe they were once our age when they imply things like, “If you graduate without meeting your soulmate, it’s just never going to happen for you.” You’ve tried to tell them time and time again that you don’t have to be married by 22, but they won’t give it up. Won’t they be happy to know their wish upon a star has come true?
3. #MCM exhausts you to your very core
The joys of Instagram! To those of you who post pics of your boyfriend every week to commemorate this special day most of us call Monday, we get it! You think he’s hot and should be recognized on a weekly basis for having the beauty of a Greek god. For some odd reason, we don’t agree.
4. You watched The Notebook and now you’re spiraling
Romantic movies are like Kryptonite. One minute you’re basking in the glow of a beautiful couple, and the next you’re wondering if you’re going to die alone. Even if he doesn’t exist, Invisible Boyfriend can be a nice placeholder until you snap out of it.
5. A perfect Valentine’s Day would mean secretly staying in and watching an endless amount of Veronica Mars
All your friends are going out to dinner with bae, but you’d much rather stay in and study Veronica’s savvy sass. Plus, the proper dose of LoVe (Logan + Veronica, that is) can cure any ailment—even an empty heart!
6. That girl from high school you never spoke to but are somehow Facebook friends with just got engaged
If you’re in your twenties, you might as well get used to seeing #isaidyes on your feed. ALL. THE. TIME. “Prove” to the deliriously blushing bride that you’ll have a date and maybe a ring of your own come time for her big day.
7. Based on your dating track record, you think creating your model guy would turn out much better than forcing yourself to like another shmuck
Building your own boyfriend is the dream of any control freak gal who’s had her heart broken by a string of guys who were oh-so-wrong for her. Let’s just hope he doesn’t end up looking like Frankenstein.
If anybody asks when they can meet this dreamboat in person, just tell them he’s studying abroad in some far, far away and very expensive-to-fly-to country. And no, Skype doesn’t work there. Would you ever use the Invisible Boyfriend app, collegiettes?