Grab a bottle of wine, curl up with your besties and a drinking game, and get to watching! It’s awards season, and your addiction to all things pop culture has been fed by the large amount of celebrities hoping to be put on the best-dressed list and avoid public humiliation.
1. Awards shows are like your football season…
and the Oscars are the Super Bowl.
2. Your commentary makes you more qualified to be an E! correspondent than Giuliana Rancic.
Your friends appreciate it, we’re sure.
3. The red carpet is your favorite part of the entire show.
Because it’s the only time you’ll see all of those stars in one place!
4. You sit and wait for your celeb crush to show up, and you squeal like a preteen when he does.
If there’s one thing we learned from the red carpet, it is that Jamie Dornan cleans up nicely.
5. You have high expectations for your favorite actress to look ***flawless on the red carpet, and when she pulls it off, you can’t handle it.
…for looking so fabulous in that ensemble.
6. You wait for a wardrobe malfunction like it’s your job.
Jeremy Renner is waiting for it, too. J-Lo: Longest nip slip ever or weird wire?
7. Or for someone to trip.
Looking at you, J Law.
8. What you really want to know is how drunk the celebrities are…
We’re assuming that the open bar is the best part for most celebs.
9. You’ve prepared drinking games for each awards show.
Chug your drink if someone mispronounces a name. (Sorry, John Travolta—it will never stop being funny.)
10. You have strong opinions about the hosts.
More Tina and Amy, less… anyone else.
11. You love any and all music awards shows because you basically watch a concert from the comfort of your own home.
No – thank you, Jay Z.
12. You’ll patiently wait for someone to pull a Kanye and steal someone else’s award.
I’mma let you finish, but The Lego Movie was the best animated film of all time.
13. You flipped out when you read the Oscar nominations.
Jen Aniston was supposed to be nominated! Where is the Lego Movie Animated Feature nomination? Next to nothing for Gone Girl?! This is ridiculous!!
14. You’ve got a special face you make when people go over their speech time and the music starts playing.
And you can’t help but imagine the producers backstage screaming, “GET HER OFF THE STAGE!”
15. Or when someone has already prepared their speech and brings it on stage to read it.
Someone is a little cocky…
16. When you watch someone win their first award, you want to cry with them.
Seriously, how precious was Gina Rodriguez?
17. Or scream when someone *cough cough Leo DiCaprio* is shut out at the Oscars… AGAIN.
WHEN WILL THEY SEE HIS TALENT?!
18. And bask in the glory that is Meryl Streep and her millionth nomination.
Queen of the theater and our hearts.
19. You wait for this year’s “Ellen Selfie” moment.
What will they think up next?
20. You trust that you single-handedly could serve on every voting committee.
You’ve got strong opinions that need to be heard.
21. When it’s all over, you’ll be poring over recap articles and YouTube videos like it’s your actual job.
So have fun while it lasts, ladies!