Get giveaways and the hottest HC content in your inbox!

Sign up for HC Study Break
Get HC in your inbox!

Most Brodacious Schools

Posted Jul 17 2012 - 12:00am
Posted Jul 17 2012 - 12:00am

For anyone who has yet to encounter them over the past decade, bros (as defined by Urban Dictionary) are “18-25 year-old white, upper-middle class males who attend universities and are usually members of fraternities.” Favorite pastimes include but are not limited to lacrosse, every other sport, slamming brews, drinking games, bragging about their real or fabricated sexual conquests, being in a frat, hazing pledges, making fun of GDIs (God Damn Independents – aka those not in a fraternity), being in a frat, attending “darties” and “daygers,” and forming bromances with their fellow brethren.

Like humans, Bromosapiens come in all different shapes and sizes, largely dependant on their natural habitat. West Coast bros might not dress exactly the same as bros in the SEC. NESCAC bros may display slightly different behaviors than the Midwestern species, and so forth. That’s why we’ve searched from the Atlantic to the Pacific Brocean to find 10 schools home to particularly flourishing—yet distinct—brommunities.

10) BUCKNELL UNIVERSITY (Lewisburg, Pennsylvania)
This list starts with the classic “preppy” bro at a school that is often referred to as a country club. “The typical Bucknell guy is from private or boarding school, Sperry-wearing, marine-life khaki rocking, polo- or button down-sporting, with perfectly coiffed or perfectly thought-out messy hair and a neon or baseball cap,” one rising senior said. “Their favorite pastimes include smoking, drinking Natty, super Saturdays, and playing any form of shirtless sports.” With over 50 percent of the student body involved in Greek life, Bucknell is rated by Princeton Review as having one of the top frat scenes in the country.

9) SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY (Syracuse, New York)
“Today I woke up in my apartment at ‘Cuse and realized that it’s pretty bro here. Home of the Brorange, with 11 lax championships, located in Bronondaga County. Then I funneled two Nattys with my bro and went to class,” one Syracuse bro posted on the website My Life Is Bro. Syracuse bros typically hail from the East Coast, with New York and New Jersey cities being the most heavily represented. As the Urban Dictionary definition of Syracuse University claims, it is “home to preps, (explicit), and ultimately the rich.” When I’m Shmacked, a series of videos featuring big parties at schools across the nation, came to Syracuse, they captured tank and jersey-clothed bros doing keg stands, belly flopping into swimming pools, funneling beers outside, and yelling. “They do hang together, especially if we are talking about Fraternity BROs, but they do venture out,” said one junior. “Some are in the science halls… some are in the architecture studios… some just skip class altogether.”

8) UNIVERSITY OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA (Los Angeles, California)
USC — sometimes referred to as the “University of Spoiled Children” — has a substantial amount of bros—and they definitely make themselves known. “It’s not even that there are that many bros, it’s just that the bros are so in your face, extreme, and really into being bros,” said sophomore Lena Warnke. Rising junior Nicole Ro puts it this way: “It’s almost impossible to get from one end of campus to the other without passing at least eight groups of bros on the way.” When word of certain bros’ actions spread beyond the walls of their fraternity houses last year, trouble arose. One bro found himself in an unfavorable situation when photos of him fornicating on a roof hit the internet, while another sparked huge controversy and shame when his degrading email intended only for the eyes of his frat brothers went viral. The email instructed the “Distinguished Gentleman” of Kappa Sigma to send him explicit details of all their hook-ups. “I have come to write this memo to you today to educate on the only life worth living, that of a Cocksman. Note: I will refer to females as ‘targets.’ They aren't actual people like us men. Consequently, giving them a certain name or distinction is pointless,” he wrote, giving bros everywhere a bad name. And we mention all of that without even pointing to the fact that the school’s sports teams are known as the Trojans, which plays quite well into your average bro’s sense of humor.

7) TULANE UNIVERSITY (New Orleans, Louisiana)
The YouTube video “Sh*t Tulane Kids Say” gives pretty good insight into the brocabulary and behaviors of typical Tulane dudes. “We curlin’ 100 today, bro?” one guy in a very cut-up muscle tank asks at the gym. “Wanna burn behind Paterson?” asks another bro sitting outside. “Yo, you go to Loyola? I didn't know you were blue collar,” says a third. And last but not least, one kid inquires, “What are we doin’ tonight, bro? Are we going to SAE’s Cowboy Christmas, we goin’ to AEPi Original Sin, or are we goin’ to the Sammy Circus, brah, what’s good?” to which his friend replies, “Yo bro, let’s go to f***ing Sigma Chi and watch The Big Bang Theory around 11 p.m. and then let’s have some Tostitos chips.” The video also features several bros perusing the website "Titties at Tulane" and playing beer pong while in a study room. Sophomore Ashan Singh confirms that this video is a relatively accurate depiction of Tulane. “We are an incredibly bro school,” he says. “I had no idea what bro meant until I came to Tulane. Mid-highs, salmon shorts, vineyard vines, bro-tanks.” While he does not feel that the bros necessarily outweigh the non-bros, he says “the social scene revolves heavily around Greek life, which is very bro. They’re all noticeable on campus.” Sophomore Alissa Sage also noticed the bros’ presence during her freshman year. “My dorm had 12 floors and the amount of ‘bro talk’ or ‘bro swag’ in the elevator was always entertaining to watch,” she says, citing lax pinnies, hats, zip-up hoodies, and frat pins as typical bro dress.

6) THE UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMA (Tuscaloosa, Alabama)
A member of the Huffington Post’s top bro schools and the Brooks Brothers Collegiate Collection, the University of Alabama is home to a plethora of the Southern breed of bros. Like other SEC schools such as Florida, Tennessee, and Ole Miss, fraternity life at Bama has a strong presence, teaming up with the species. As senior Jessica Johnson explains, “Fraternity men are a different kind of man. They are visible everywhere: on the Strip at the various bars, on Fraternity Row standing around with coolers and some sort of athletic activity (as well as the required puppy), in Bryant-Denny Stadium in the Greek section proudly shaking their shaker and lifting their whiskey-filled cups of Coke.” She adds that you “cannot walk around campus, or Tuscaloosa for that matter, without noticing the fraternity men.” College Prowler comments support this description, citing that frat stars can be spotted easily because of their lettered T-shirts, “old nasty hats,” and Birkenstocks. But these boys also know how to dress up, donning sport coats and ties on game day. “If there’s one thing Bama boys do best, it’s formal wear, as all seem to own multiple suits and suit separates,” says Johnson. As for what separates these bros from the ones at the aforementioned schools? According to Johnson, that lies in their Southern upbringing. “They can do some questionable things, but they also act like the gents their mommas raised them to be.”

5) UMASS AMHERST (Amherst, Massachusetts)
UMass Amherst, also known as “Zoo Mass” or “The Zoo,” has historically been ranked as one of the nation’s top party schools. Rachel Rioles, a sophomore, described Zoo bros as such: “Bros are loud, especially when traveling in packs. They can be found at the height of activity at nighttime, as they are mostly nocturnal. They prey upon Biddies, who seem all too keen to be preyed upon. If you're looking to spot a bro in its natural habitat, wander over to the Rec Center, where they spend lots of time making loud noises both with their vocal cords and with the weights that they so effortlessly throw around. They are best observed from a distance. Standing too close could result in a conversation filled with one-syllable words and grunts.” Over the last 18 months, “The Zoo” has needed police intervention not once, but twice, after highly emotional major events. Following the New England Patriots’ Super Bowl loss in February, 1,500 UMass students rioted and fought in the streets until police on horseback had to break up the crowds using smoke bombs, ultimately arresting 14 students. And at the news of Osama Bin Laden’s death last May, approximately 1,000 students rioted by setting off fireworks, lighting fires, and climbing buildings. UMass-Amherst student Paul Markham voices the bro culture in his rap lyrics. Here are some especially bro lines from “Welcome to the Zoo,” a music video featuring him wandering around campus and raging with his bros.

“Welcome to the Zoo where we drink beer. Getting messed up but we still think clear. / Fellas get your best wingman, make it a tandem. Go and throw your hands up, let’s make this an anthem / So when they ask about us, go ahead and tell them waddup. We go the hardest, hater you can shut up. / I’m in my room smoking weed, now my throat kills. I love the people here, everybody’s so real. / Ooo girl, I’m enamored by you. We can day drink, get hammered by two. / It’s such a relief getting out of classes. Ladies, I apologize for checking out your asses.”

4) COLBY COLLEGE (Waterville, Maine)
The ‘CAC is a breeding ground for bros, and Colby College is a prime example. The classic Northeastern broutfit reigns supreme on this manicured Maine campus. One student commented on College Prowler that Colby “has a reputation for having many white, upper-middle-class, private school kids. They are classified by their ‘outdoorsy prep’ look: lots of brand-name clothing, but flannel and L.L.Bean boots are a must,” while another pointed to the prevalence of khakis, Patagonias, and Sperry Topsiders. “Nice guys but way too many bros,” one student put simply. Last year, 56 Colby students faced alcohol charges after a party that got out of hand, and 19 more students followed in their footsteps just two weeks later.

3) OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY (Columbus, Ohio)
Brohio State University is bigger than the top two schools on our list, thus the bro culture may not be as overwhelmingly obvious on campus, but it’s certainly there. OSU made The Huffington Post’s list of top 10 bro-est colleges and top 10 preppiest colleges. That explains why Vineyard Vines and Brooks Brothers included OSU in their exclusive college lines. One Ohio State bro was featured on BroBible for offering his football tickets on Craigslist in exchange for a bikini carwash for his Hummer from a girl who is “at least an eight.” This bro was out-broed by another, however, who was featured on Barstool Sports for funneling a Four Loko into his bottom. If you’re still unconvinced, just take Elibro Manning’s word for it. That’s the alias of one Buckeye fan who commented on Bros Like This Site’s post about tailgating with this: “Go Brohio State Bro-ckeyes! Best college in the world! Hottest slam pieces! Best parties! Best sports! Best tailgating! Best everything!”

2) DARTMOUTH COLLEGE (Hanover, New Hampshire)
The fact that Animal House was based on a Dartmouth fraternity is enough reason for the Ivy League school to be on this list. Though the movie was filmed over 30 years ago, the Dartmouth frat scene still thrives, and bros flock to it — 43% of guys on campus are in one of the college’s 16 fraternities. College Prowler calls its Greek system a “powerful and enduring campus institution.” One student commented that while it is hard to generalize, “the ‘stereotypical’ Dartmouth male would be a beer-guzzling football-playing frat boy.” When the uglier side of Dartmouth Greek life was exposed in a Rolling Stone article on one Sigma Alpha Epsilon defector’s experience being hazed, one SAE brother commented, "Pretty much accurate. Sorry for partying.” The bros are not just limited to the frat scene, though. Last year, a video surfaced of a cappella group the Brovertones decked out in khakis and button-downs singing: “For I’m a student of old Dartmouth and a son of a gun for beer. Like every honest fellow, I like my whiskey clear. And if I had a son sir, I’ll tell you what he’d do. He’d yell ‘to hell with Harvard’ like his daddy used to do.” A reverence for alcohol and fierce competition — music to bros’ ears.

1) DUKE UNIVERSITY (Durham, North Carolina)
There’s a reason (or several) that The Huffington Post deemed Duke as the #1 best college for bros in America. “What other school has legendary tailgates where students wake up earlier than they do for class to wear their craziest costumes and pour beer on each other? What other school has to tell their students to NOT bring a baby pool to the Main Quad for LDOC (Last Day of Classes)?” says Betty Liu, a senior and HC Duke’s campus correspondent. Sophomore Amanda Meyer explains that the typical male wardrobe is “a lot of popped collars, boat shoes or sneakers with calf-high socks, definitely frat sunglasses, backwards hats sometimes, and many different pastel colored shorts a lot of the time.” She summarizes the scene with the equation “lax = bros = Duke.” Duke’s brodom has been historically evident in the media. Two years ago, the student newspaper had a regular columnist by the name of Gossip Bro, who wrote in one post: “I still hear some of you saying, ‘But Gossip Bro, I’m not into spending my parents’ money and getting effed up on weekends!’ Well it’s never too late to start, so loosen up and start enjoying the prime of your life at the all-inclusive playground for successful people that you worked so hard to get to.” Even the girls can be bros, as evidenced by the girl who made a faux-thesis PowerPoint presentation documenting her college hook-ups, which went viral before you could finish a can of Natty Light. And if all of that wasn't enough, Tucker Max, author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and arguably the biggest bro of all time, attended Duke Law.

Image Source:
http://www.boston.com/ae/celebrity/more_names/blog/max1.jpg

< Back to all 2012 College Rankings

You Might Also Like...
Fill out my online form.