You’re finally a freshman in college, and you couldn’t be more thrilled by the prospect of making new college friends and attending your first college party. Though you may play it cool enough to be mistaken for an upperclassman, here are a few ways to make sure no one can mistake your freshman status.
1) Once you receive your new school ID card, wear it on a lanyard around your neck.
2) Be sure to use a tray in the dining hall.
3) Say hello to everyone in your path…
4) …and friend request everyone you interact with on Facebook later.
5) Pretend to be selective about picking your new friends…
…but still immediately bond with everyone you meet.
6) Adorn your dorm room with as much clichéd college decor as you can get your hands on,
7) and buy everything with your school’s name on it in the bookstore.
8) Once classes start, carry around every book you purchased for your classes at all times.
9) Raise your hand to ask to the professor if you can use the restroom during class.
10) Go wild on Club Fair day and sign up for the email list at every table.
11) Show up to football games half an hour before kickoff totally pumped…
12) … and completely sober, having not attended any tailgates beforehand.
13) But once you discover the wonder of pregaming, pregame everything and anything.
14) Get really excited about parties.
15) Like, really, really way too excited.
16) And dress like this every time you go out.
17) Roll into a party with 10 of your closest friends,
18) and believe that you have no limits when it comes to ingesting alcohol.
19) Most importantly, insert the phrase “so college” into conversation as often as possible.