At the end of your freshman year, you do a lot of things: you make sure that you post about your grades on Facebook (“OMG! Totally ACED my psych class! #superstar”), post a picture of your roomies or sorority sisters on Instagram (“I am going to miss these girls more than anything in the whole wide world!”) and tweet about your future vacation destinations (#summer2014). However, what we don’t see are the conversations that freshmen collegiettes are having with their loved ones – the people eager to find out what exactly their baby girl has been up to for the past year – at the end of the year.
Here is a comprehensive guide to the things all freshmen say after their first year (and what they really mean)!
What they say: “Oh my god, I loved college. It was really great and I learned so much. I went to class every single day!”
What they mean: “Yeah, of course I loved college… but the most important thing I learned was how to nap.”
What they say: “I met so many awesome people!”
What they mean: “I met a lot of people the first week and added them all on Facebook! But now I’m like…”
What they say: “There was this one guy I was seeing…”
What they mean: “I had this one guy who texted me every night asking me to come over.”
What they say: “Ew! I absolutely do not drink beer, Mom!”
What they mean: “I won’t drink beer because it makes me bloated. That’s why I drink vodka.”
What they say: “Yeah, my grades were pretty great!”
What they mean: “Cs get degrees, right?”
What they say: “I mean, I drink coffee but I don’t drink coffee. You know? Some people are addicted!”
What they mean: “At least I didn’t need caffeine until exam week. Then I was in the library like…”
What they say: “We have an awesome gym on campus that I always went to!”
What they mean: “I went to the gym once, maybe twice. Most of the time I thought about going but just decided to eat instead.”
What they say: “Nope, I didn’t do anything I regret.”
What they mean: “I did a few things I regret. Their names are John, Harry and Nick.”
What they say: “I think I grew a lot as a person this year. I’m definitely more mature.”
What they mean: “I like to think that I’m mature…”
What they say: “I’m so ready for summer! I can’t wait to be home!”
What they mean: “Wait… where are my friends?”
What they say: “That was the best year of my life.”
What they mean: “And next year will be even better.”
So congratulations to all of you freshmen finishing up your first year as collegiettes! You may be withholding some information from the world, but what happens while you’re in college stays at college (unless you put it on the Internet… then you’re out of luck).