A quick Google search for the word “sorority” quickly reveals the stereotypical sorority girl as bubbly, outgoing, and a stellar conversationalist. It’s not surprising either since sororities are some of the largest social organizations on college campuses. But how do you fit in if you’re more introverted than this stereotype?
The most important thing is to understand this Google search for what it is: a stereotype. In reality, Greek women (a term referring to women in different sororities) come in all shapes, sizes, and personality types.
Still, it can be tough to find your footing in a large social organization if your autopilot isn’t to constantly be around people. But, in every sorority, there are introverted women, meaning that you’re definitely not alone.
We looked at the highlights of sorority life and gathered some tips on how to navigate them when you’re not feeling quite as social. Here are our tips for thriving in a sorority as an introvert.
1. Focus on the big events
Being a part of a sorority means lots of events – whether they’re philanthropic, social, or a part of ritual. Whatever the event, it usually means a lot of interactions with people, which can be exhausting for introverts. Luckily, not every event in Greek life is mandatory, so introverts should focus on the big, important events and work their way up to attending the optional ones.
Lily Winters*, a junior at Boston University, says that she picks one big sisterhood event a month to attend.
“I try to pick one sisterhood event that excites me every month,” says Winters. “This way I don’t commit to everything, but I make myself go to something where I’ll see a lot of sisters.”
Some examples of these types of events are recruitment, bid day, Big/Little week, a philanthropy event, and certain sisterhood events. Going to these events is a great opportunity to meet your sisters and get more comfortable with the women in your sorority.
Related: 7 Tips Introverts Need to Know for Sorority Rush
In fact, this is one of the best ways to make friends within the chapter – and one of the surest ways to make any introvert comfortable in a group of people. Hailey Orgeron, a junior in Alpha Gamma Delta at the University of Hawaii, says that events played a major role in making her chapter feel a little smaller.
“During my first year in the sorority, I really wasn’t that involved and the thought of going to sorority events would give me anxiety,” says Hailey. “…what made all the difference for me was finding those friends that make you feel undeniably comfortable and just overall happy.”
Once Hailey found her close friends, she says she didn’t mind being involved and constantly being around people.
2. Know your limits
That being said, there is such a thing as pushing yourself too much. Your introverted personality isn’t a flaw and taking some time for yourself can be a good thing. If you find yourself stressed out at an event, feel free to step away for a minute. Your sisters will totally understand!
Jane Brown*, a sophomore at Lehigh University, says that a little alone time can go a long way.
“Designate time out of your day to spend time alone, even if that means missing out on fun activities from time to time,” says Jane. If you’re constantly spreading yourself thin, you won’t feel like your best self anymore and it will start to negatively affect you.”
At the same time, make sure you balance the number of events that you go to. It can be tempting to sign up for everything that comes your way, even if you’re an introvert. Sororities have really fun events. But, knowing your limits is important too, and it’s okay to skip out on a social outing or two so that you can recharge.
3. Try a leadership position
If you’re keeping your limits in mind and you’re trying out the big events, it might also be a good idea to run for a leadership position. Sororities offer many chances for women to get involved in their executive or officer structures, and these opportunities are fantastic for adding experience to your resume, following a passion project, and pushing yourself to know your sisters even more.
For Hailey, a leadership position was exactly what she needed to gain the confidence to keep reaching out to people in her chapter.
“I am serving on the executive board as the VP of Marketing and I’ve never been happier,” she says. “And while I still have many of my introverted qualities, I have also become more extroverted.”
4. Lean on your sisters
Sometimes, despite all your efforts, it can still be frustrating to be an introvert in a sorority. During these times, it’s a great idea to lean on your sisters and tell them how you feel. Who knows? One of them might also be an introvert, and you just didn’t know it.
Try getting coffee with a sister you feel comfortable with, and let her know you’ve been having trouble getting involved or fitting in. While this normally happens within the first year of joining a chapter, many sorority women experience these feelings at every stage of their Greek years.
Maybe we’re all a little introverted on the inside, or maybe big organizations just amplify those feelings. Either way, your sisters want you to feel your best, no matter your personality type.
5. Plan a low-key event
If leaning on your sisters and going to only big events are still too much, planning a low-key get-together with a few sisters can help ease you into the swing of sorority life. Ashley Ferris, from Gamma Phi Beta at the University of Oregon, says that these events can be arranged around everyday activities.
“For a girl struggling to ‘fit in’ or put herself out there, I suggest that she create a study group with girls she shares the same classes or major within the sorority,” says Ashley. “Another way to get to know other members in the sorority is to reach out to others to attend certain on-campus or sorority events with.”
This is what Greek life is really about. Contrary to popular belief, sorority women don’t just party – they connect with one another and form meaningful relationships, even as introverts.
So, whether you’re fully introverted or just have some quieter tendencies, don’t worry about that stereotype. Every chapter woman feels a little uncomfortable at some point, and the same woman finds ways to make those introverted tendencies work for her. Go ahead and make Greek life yours – no matter your personality.
*Names have been changed.