This article has been syndicated from Generation Tay, an InfluenceHer Collective Member. Read the full post here.
When I was getting ready to go away to Fordham, one of my biggest fears (among many) was living with someone I didn’t know. Nothing sounded more terrifying to me than sleeping across from a total stranger. But I’m here to tell you, if you’re anything like I was, don’t worry! You will be ok. I ended up being so ok that I lived with the same roommate all four years and we became not just friends, but like sisters.
Each year we added more fabulous roommates as we grew into bigger apartments, but we remained inseparable and our additional roomies became like family as well. Since graduation, nearly everyone who hears that I lived with my roommate for five years (including a year post-college) is shocked, so I began to realize such roommate success stories are not as common as I thought. Because of this, a few of my past roomies and I chatted about how exactly we worked together so well. In the end we came up with a list of tips for finding your “roommate soulmate(s)” and maintaining a healthy relationship that lasts. Yes, it works a lot like dating. Here are the 5 things we came up with:
1. Pick your own roommate(s) even if you don’t know him/her/them very well.
While schools do their best to match up people who they believe are compatible, often times it doesn’t work out. That’s not to say it never works out, but my suggestion is to not test this theory unless you absolutely have to. To avoid letting them pick for you, find someone on your own!
Question you’re likely asking: How do I pick a roommate if I don’t know anyone going to the school with me? Well, there are a few ways actually!
Social Media
The beauty of social media these days is that you will likely find multiple roommate options online. And as bizarre as it sounds, the process is very similar to online dating.
I was in several Fordham University Facebook groups where girls in my future class were planning New York City meetups and exchanging contact information!
Through this process I ended up chatting with several prospective roommates (one who even ghosted me), but eventually someone finally seemed like a good fit (she was the lucky gal who got to live with me for 5 years hehe).
Roomsurf.com
If you can’t find any Facebook groups or the ones you’re in are just not working, Roomsurf.com is a great site that could help match you with your roommate soulmate (also a lot like a dating site).
Meet Ups/Orientation
Look into whether or not your college/university has organized meet ups or orientations for new students. At my school, a Fordham meetup was offered to my class in various states on different dates so incoming students could meet other classmates from their area before school began.
Another option for us was orientation. Before the summer was over, we were invited to attend one of two orientations where we could meet and connect with new people.
2. Go in open-minded and be flexible.
Whether you pick your roommate(s) or your school picks for you, you likely won’t know everything about them before living together. Because of this, it’s absolutely vital for you to remain open-minded and flexible at all times. When you live with someone you become roommates with the good, bad, and ugly parts of them.
Remember: none of you are perfect, so if he/she/they have an annoying habit, there’s a huge chance you have one they can’t stand either. My advice? If it’s not serious nor is it ruining your life, just deal with it. If it’s serious or ruining your life, talk about it. (But if it’s really really serious or past the point of discussion, skip the rest and tell an RA). This leads me to my next point…
3. Communicate effectively.
To start, avoid any awkward conversations down the line by being open from day 1 and discussing boundaries, habits, and schedules.
During your time as roommates, whether you become best friends or not, communication will be absolutely necessary. No relationship can be perfect, but it can come close to it with open and calm conversation before things escalate. Always remember to discuss these things in person, not via text.
Read the full post here.