Staple-free Stapler, Fred Flare, $10
What is a stapler without staples? The staple-free stapler, which “staples” by hole-punching your papers together, is not only practical and eco-friendly, but it’s also a mind-bending question of social norms, technological convention, and philosophical theorem. (And, like, it comes in pink).
Lipstick Ballpoint Pen, Fred Flare, $5
It’s a universal truth of the female experience that where there is lipstick, there need be no pen. But despite its impressive clout as a utensil of both cosmetic and scholarly purposes, your Revlon Red is looking a little ragged following its usage on surfaces a tad rougher than your pucker. So stop using your lipstick as a pen and start disguising your pen as your lipstick. It’s all very Bond Girl, no?
Sprout Bookmark Set (Set of 6), Fred Flare, $8
You’re a plant killer and you know it. You can’t even keep a Chia pet alive, and you bear the brunt of this shame wherever you travel. Stop houseplant murder; buy these sprout bookmarks. So they’re made of silicone. So what? They’re the closest you’ll get to nature while sheltered away in some dreary corner of the library for weeks on end during finals and they’ll mark your page for you.
Cottage Rose Lap Desk, All For Color, $24
It’s that point in the night again. The point where you’ve given up on your desk and have straight up moved your work to the bed. You know you’re going to give into sleep at any moment, but at least while you’re pretending to do work you can prop your laptop up correctly? Look--there’s even a cup holder for your new Need Coffee to Work tumbler. And that floral print! It’s like someone just knew.
Scented Erasers (Pack of 5), Kikkerland, $4
So these scented erasers, otherwise unsensational, merited a spot on this list because of a certain smelly aspect: the scent of milk. What? Frankly, our main concern is what might happen if you start associating the scent of milk with messing up. Will you ever eat cereal again?! What about milkshakes?! These are just some salient and totally normal things to consider pre-purchase.