All through high school, college was romanticized. Whether you imagined the academics would be more challenging, the people more mature, or just that life without your parents’ rules would be far superior than life at home, college was imagined to be perfect.
Yet, college often falls short of our high standards.
We asked 27 real college women to share their biggest disappointments with the college experience, and here’s what they had to say.
“I think when I started college, I expected that once I got far enough in, I would have an epiphany and realize exactly what I wanted to do with my life. In reality, I’ve changed my major something like five times, I’m graduating next year, and I still have absolutely no idea what I’m going to do when I’m out.”
-Kate, University of New Haven Class of 2017
“Going to college in New York City has always been my dream. In the months prior to NYU, I idealized it to an unrealistic degree. Although the city is as beautiful and energizing as I remember, attending such a spread-out school with such independent students has made the process of making friends incredibly difficult. I’m having an amazing time; I just wish I had people to share it with.”
-Hannah, NYU Class of 2019
“People don’t date. Generally boys just want to hook up and are not committed.”
-Lily, Tufts University Class of 2018
“The food has been a major disappointment. While there are tons of options, I thought there would almost always be amazing food. It turns out the good food is saved for special events like Parents Weekend.”
-Meg, West Virginia Wesleyan College Class of 2019
“My biggest disappointment with my personal college experience is the evident lack of teaching that the professors do. A large portion of our classes focus on independent learning and while that is a wonderful skill to have…why am I paying my university and professors oodles and oodles of money when my computer is the device in which that educates me?”
-Diana, WVU Class of 2018
“I thought the weekends would be filled with non-stop fun. But they’re actually boring and consist of watching Netflix in bed and eating food.”
-Brittney, Christopher Newport University Class of 2018
“The biggest disappointment with the college experience is coming second to someone else. Going to such a large school, there is always going to be someone better than you at something.”
-Nicolette, University of Illinois Urbana Champaign Class of 2017
Related: I Changed Myself to Rush a Sorority & I Regret It
“My biggest disappointment is how guys treat women in college. They still have that same boyish mindset of treating girls like we still don’t matter and talk down to us. It’s exhausting to known that college hasn’t changed their minds.”
-Olivia, UVA Class of 2019
“I think I have been most disappointed in that most people don’t really look at college as the time of personal growth and transformation that it should be. People are so much more interested in going out and partying than attending all the really awesome speakers/events the campus puts on!”
-Michaela, Colby College Class of 2015
“My biggest disappointment so far has been the lack of just general kindness. I really wanted a campus where I could walk around and people would say hi or at least throw me a smile but instead everyone just looks down with their headphones in their ears. I understand wanting to jam on your own but where is the love people!?”
-Lindsay, Kent State University Class of 2019
“I thought that I would be going out more than I expected. Now I spend most weekend nights staying in with friends, but I totally expected that I would be invited to go to parties.”
-Chloe, University of Massachusetts Amherst Class of 2018
“The huge prevalence of Greek life on campus is disappointing. A lot of my friends are in sororities and I of course love them, but I’m treated like an outsider for not being in one. The term ‘GDI’ needs to go.”
-Allison, University of Kansas Class of 2017
Related: 18 Reasons You’re Already Over This Semester
“The lack of school spirit. My school has a Division I football team but nobody ever shows up to the games and spirit week is pathetic. It’s nothing like the movies. For that matter, neither is Greek life. The nightlife is pretty dead too because it’s cold all the time.”
– Nabila, University at Buffalo Class of 2016
“I’m really disappointed that I didn’t make a close bond with my roommates freshman and sophomore year. I see a lot of girls becoming best friends with their roommates. It doesn’t just happen on television; it just didn’t happen for me.”
-Rebecca, University of Maryland Class of 2017
“My biggest disappointment is probably how close people smoke to the buildings on campus. I sometimes have to hold my breath when entering the dining hall! I don’t have anything against people if they want to smoke, but smoking far away from the building would be nice.”
-Lindy, Kenyon College Class of 2019
“Finding out who your true friends are. Going away to college really separates your true friends from high school, with the friends that were convenient because you always saw them. It was hard at first, but then you realize that it’s for the better, and you have to move on.”
-Sarah, University of Scranton Class of 2017
“My biggest disappointment with the college experience is how some professors totally disrespect their students. Professors should encourage learning, rather than making their students feel dumb.”
-Maura, Loyola University Chicago Class of 2018
“My biggest disappointment in college was that you actually cannot do everything you want. You cannot try a bunch of different courses to find what you want to do, because then you’ll graduate later and have more loans to pay off. It is very annoying and disheartening to not be able to thrive the way people often portray one flourishing when one goes to college or university.”
-Gabrielle, Boston University Class of 2018
Related: 16 Reasons Why College is Better than High School, as told by Rory Gilmore
“I was disappointed that Pepperdine’s dorms are not as big as they appeared on Zoey 101.”
– Dayanne, Pepperdine University Class of 2017
“In high school, it was so easy to get good grades. I never studied. In college, you can study your butt off and barely get a C. That sucks.”
-Ariel, Western University Class of 2017
“I was really disappointed at how superficial people around me would act just to make friends quickly. It was as if there was this book of unspoken rules of how people have to act in college and I had never received the rulebook. It was really confusing trying to decode people, to figure out whether they were being authentic or not. And that made it really hard to trust anyone enough to be my friend.”
-Morgan, University of Notre Dame Class of 2018
“My biggest disappointment with the college experience is that I made a lot of friends freshman year and I expected them to all be very good friends with me. But now as a sophomore, I’ve had to make mostly new friends as most of my freshman year friendships did not last.”
-Camellia, University of Cincinnati Class of 2018
“My biggest disappointment with my college experience would have to be my lack of one. I didn’t choose the right school for me my freshman year and since then have ended up transferring twice. Although this was the best decision for me to make, there is a part of me that feels like I missed out on making certain memories by not attending a state university that I love for all four years. I used to believe that I needed to go to a state university, join a sorority, get a boyfriend, etc. because of what I saw on social media and when I was led down a different path I felt like I had messed up. I’m at peace with it now, but I wish someone had told me that we don’t all choose the perfect school right out of high school.”
-Rebekah, University of Houston Class of 2016
“The social life has been disappointing. I don’t drink, and I don’t party. It’s been really challenging for me to meet people that share the same values and interests as me, because most of the people I meet just want to go out and party.”
-Haley, Sacred Heart University Class of 2017
“The fact that my university does NOTHING about Greek organizations hazing has been very disappointing.”
-Jenisse, SUNY New Paltz Class of 2016
“The realization that labels still matter has been the most disappointing part of my college experience. I expected college to be a time where I would not judged by what organizations I belong to or what my major is. However, in my college experience I have been associated more with labels than I ever was in high school.”
-Chandler, University of Texas at Austin Class of 2017
“My biggest disappointment has been the weight change everyone experiences. I guess I expected to get to college and drop tons of weight like everyone I know did, but the dining hall food is not your mom’s food and although it is tasty, it is not nearly as healthy. You have to work a lot harder to stay healthy and keep your weight low than you did in high school.”
-Becky, UGA Class of 2017