Millenials become so jaded towards the idea of “feelings” and “sensitivity” that we have given a negative connotation towards honesty and empathy—traits of emotionally intelligent people that should be celebrated rather than ostracized. In a society where wearing your heart on your sleeve is seen as a form of incompetence, those who are labeled “overly sensitive” often feel the need to validate themselves or mask their feelings in order to be taken as seriously as everyone else. In reality, emotionally intelligent people are often the happiest and self-loving individuals, yet we are also some of the most misunderstood—here’s what we want you to know about us.
1. You should probably stop telling us to “get out of our feelings”
First of all, “feelings” are not a switch that we can turn on and off. Openly showcasing our emotions is the way we communicate and cope with our emotions, and it’s far healthier than bottling them up.
2. Also, stop telling us “don’t take it personally”
Overly emotional people take everything personally, so instead of telling us to not take it personally, tell us why we shouldn’t take it personally or how we should stop taking it personally.
3. Don’t mistake our empathy for weakness
Our kindness is not a deficiency, it’s a strength. We’re confident enough with ourselves that we don’t feel the need to broadcast apathy to be taken seriously.
4. Don’t ask us if it’s “that time of the month”
Side note: don’t ever ask anyone that. Ever.
5. Emotional intelligence is the most undervalued yet crucial form of intelligence
Because we value connecting with others on a mental level more than knowing y=mx+b.
6. We’re not all introverts
The overly emotional, mysterious introvert is just a glamorized stereotype.
7. We don’t do violent or horror movies
HOW can you people watch people being slaughtered with a chainsaw?
8. We know when something is wrong, don’t say “I’m fine”
We know when you’re upset, and we’ve been there—don’t try to play it off with “I’m fine.”
9. We’re subconsciously people pleasers
Overly emotional people value relationships with others over anything—we want you to like us, even if it means doing things for people who don’t necessarily deserve it.
10. We overanalyze everything
But what did you really mean when you said “Okay, goodnight.” at 11:59 p.m. Sunday night?
11. We’re overly polite
Instead of “please” and “thank you” we’ll say, “yes, please, if you don’t mind” or “thank you so much, I really appreciate it.”
12. We also apologize for everything
We’ll apologize if you bump into us, but we’ll be cursing you out internally.
13. We seek happiness from experiences more than material things
Because we know that in the end all we really have is the memories
14. We love easily, please be good to us
Don’t be scared if we say “I love you first,” its in our nature.
15. We’re more in touch with our inner selves
Ask us our greatest fear, happiest moment, goal in life—we’ll give you a defined answer.
16. We don’t judge
We’re always the shoulder to cry on, no judgements.
17. We remember certain conversations forever
Choose your words carefully.
18. We appreciate verbal validation
Tell us you value our friendship, that you appreciate our efforts, that you enjoy our company. It’s not too “mushy;” it’s a tangible reminder that we mean something to you, too.
19. We hate small talk
The weather and “what’s up” just don’t get our attention.
20. The best way to get to know us is to ask us what’s on our mind
Because “what’s on your mind” is a better conversation starter than “what’s up,” anyway.
21. We value honesty more than anything
Emotional people wear their heart on their sleeve—we don’t feel the need to hide behind a facade, and consequently, honesty means everything to us.
22. Our friends and family are our entire world
Because without them we wouldn’t have anyone to get overly emotional about.
23. We hate ending something on a bad note
Whether it be a party or a friendship, we can’t seem to let it go awry. Over emotional people love closure on any situation.
24. Happiness is our end goal
Because in the end all we really want is to be happy with our mushy, lovey, emotional selves.