Some of the things guys do to get our attention are so impressively idiotic that we practically have to give them points for effort. We may not know exactly what we find attractive, but we surely know what we don’t find attractive. If you want our attention, save yourself (and your game) now by avoiding all 13 of these not-so-sly ways to impress us.
1. Bank flirting
You can buy me another round of drinks if you please just stop talking about your trust fund out east and swinging your dad’s platinum credit card in the air like a smoke signal for the bartender.
2. Winking
There’s a fine line between a sexy wink and a wink that reminds us of our old creepy science teacher.
3. Dramatic, overexertive exercising at the gym
Grunting like apes after every leg lift and pull-up just makes guys sound like an 85 year old man trying to get out of his recliner. Plus, you look like you’re about to rupture a vein. Relax.
4. Constantly taking his shirt off
Because giving us a detailed plan of your abs workout couldn’t be told without visual effects, right?
5. Revving his engine
We don’t usually try to pick up guys at stoplights, but when we do it’s definitely not the ones in the ’93 Hondas revving their engine and trying to race the minivan in the next lane just to get a glance from us. Classic trick. In fact, zero percent of the time, it works every time.
6. Spend 40 minutes telling a girl, “I don’t usually do this, but…”
You mean you don’t usually ask girls to stay the night 20 minutes after meeting them, or you don’t usually spend 40 minutes trying to pretend you don’t?
7. Starting fights
Okay, this isn’t Fight Club and you surely look nothing like Brad Pitt. Stop swinging your arms around like a loose cannon.
8. Drinking too much
We know you think your story is really good, but your sentences stopped making sense about four beers ago.
9. Not taking the hint
If we wanted a guy to lurk in our shadows and swoop in to kill the vibe every time we hit it off with another guy, we would have brought our dad to the bar.
10. Awful pick-up lines
Except for quickly out the door, down the street and as far away as possible from you.
11. Trying to dance
Is there a magnetic force field going on with their hips, or is all of this thrusting really how guys like to dance?
12. Using a wingman
What’s up with the bro handshake after every phone number they snag?
13. Over-the-top compliments
We appreciate them…until guys begin to increasingly less coherently bark them across the room at us.