You may not believe it when you check Instagram, but even that girl who decided to go on a Paleo diet is struggling. It’s easy to jump on the “New Year, new me” bandwagon, but wasn’t old you awesome? Yes; yes, she was. So why not try some more reasonable New Year’s resolutions that you’ll actually keep?
1. You will watch more hours of Friends per day than hours you sleep.
Who needs to make new friends in 2015 when you’ve got a great group right on Netflix?
2. You will schedule fake “meetings” so that you can nap instead of doing anything productive.
It’s the best way to ensure that you get more rest in 2015.
3. You will clean out your closet so you can fill it with things that you probably won’t ever wear.
Out with the old, in with the trendy articles of clothing you’ll feel too stupid to wear in a week.
4. You will buy beauty products that cost way too much in the name of putting your best face forward in 2015, but you’ll also forget about them in a week.
What? You’re just sticking to the old saying, “Less is more.”
5. You will go to the gym every day—at least for a week or two—but you will also complain about it every day.
Did you really go to the gym if you didn’t spend an hour on the couch screaming, “My arms! They’re falling off!” afterwards? We didn’t think so.
6. You will eat healthily, but only if you can tell everyone how hungry you are.
“Ugh! Don’t eat that in front of me; I’m starving.”
7. You will delete your ex’s number out of your phone… but remember it by heart so that you can put it back in when you’re feeling lonely.
Because if he isn’t good for a booty call in 2015, what is he good for?
8. You will add push-ups into your daily regimen. By push-ups you mean the pops, not the exercise.
It’s 2015, and it’s time to TREAT YO SELF.
9. You will try to judge people less. The key word is try. You didn’t say how hard.
Maybe you’ll try *silently* judging.
10. You will feel guilty about not making the effort to dress up for class, but then remind yourself that you are just living life like Beyoncé. #flawless
“If that boy in chem can’t love me at my worst, he doesn’t deserve me at my best.” —Every girl trying to justify wearing pajamas to class
11. After a rough night, you will vow never to drink again, but then remind yourself not to make promises you can’t keep.
It’s better to be honest with yourself than to go on living a lie.
Now that you’ve got your resolutions in order, go out there and stick to every single one of them. Seriously, it shouldn’t be hard.