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Life

10 Signs You’re Getting Too Old to Trick-Or-Treat

We’ve all had that final year of trick-or-treating where we know when we leave the house in our PG-13 costumes, it’ll be for the last time. But how do you know when that year should be? Your senior year in high school? When you turn eighteen? How about when you’re twenty-one? Below are the tell-tale signs it’s time to start handing out the candy instead of asking for it!

1. You can’t get your costume at Walmart anymore.

Usually, we hit a certain age where it doesn’t matter what we dress up as. We just want a cheap costume so we can get as much candy as possible without spending a lot of money. Once you’re too big for those $24.99 princess costumes at Walmart or Target, it’s time to retire the trick-or-treat bag.

2. You have to start avoiding certain houses.

As a kid, you don’t know or really care who lives where. But once you start having to avoid that one house around the corner because your ex lives there, we recommend you shut it down.

3. Your costume involves a tight dress and some form of animal ears.

The second you stop wearing kid-friendly costumes and start buying short dresses to mimic a Playboy bunny, don’t even bother going door-to-door. Because mothers around the neighborhood probably won’t be on board with your costume.

4. You’d rather drive around than walk.

Part of the trick-or-treat charm is walking door-to-door! Being exhausted but knowing you’re tired because of that pillowcase full of Reese’s is so worth it. When you decide you’d happily trade in your walking shoes for your car, it’s time to drive to a party instead.

5. You worry too much about the calories.

That’s really how you know you’re too old to get the candy—when you care too much about how it affects your health. 

6. You reminisce about the times when you got the good candy.

Because that was all that mattered when you were in middle school. 

7. You can buy alcohol for yourself.

Time to just drink wine and hand out the candy at this point, ladies!

8. Pre-gaming is somehow part of your plan.

Drunk trick-or-treating probably isn’t the best thing to do since cars and street lights are involved. 

9. You don’t get the costumes kids are wearing.

Once you’re out of the loop with kids’ costumes, leave the trick-or-treating to them!

10. You’ve tried every candy corn flavored alcoholic drink you can get your hands on. 

Just no.

It’s sad when we’re no longer young enough to get free candy – but think about the things we can do now. Like, going to bars in costume and getting into scary, haunted attractions. Make Halloween enjoyable and buy your own candy if need be! 

Rachel DeFeis is a senior at the University of Delaware majoring in English. She hopes to get into publishing and/or editing after she graduates, but right now she spends her free time binge watching television shows on Netflix, being a loyal (yet frustrated) Giants fan, reading books, spending her paychecks on coffee and daydreaming of traveling the world. In five years she sees herself living in New York City where she'll meet her soulmate by either awkwardly running into him or fighting over who gets the last pair of black gloves at Bloomingdale's. Although, maybe that last part just shows she's too obsessed with the movie Serendipity. Coming from the Seaside Heights, NJ area she wants the world to know one thing: no, we don't all fist pump, fake tan or call it the "Jersey Shore". You can follow her on twitter @racheldefeis.