Let’s face it: when it comes to visibility, queer femme women have been riding the struggle bus since the beginning of time. Here’s a play-by-play of how our lives work.
So, you’re a femme. A girl’s girl who also happens to like girly things.
But supposedly, according to the unwritten book of queer-isms, that’s not the way to get girls.
Apparently you need to dress like Tegan and Sara.
And have hair like J Biebs circa 2010.
Then, of course, you feel ridiculous dressing up as something you’re not, so you continue to dress as you please.
But when you go to the gay club to meet girls and expect the night to go like this:
It actually ends up like this:
Because, have we mentioned how difficult it is to get girls as a femme?
Everyone just assumes you like guys…
…and the guys automatically assume they’ll be able to “set you straight.”
You’ll hear offensive comments like, “But you’re too pretty to be queer!”
Or, “You act so straight!”
…to the point where you’re convinced you’re going to be forever alone.
And you get the people trying to convince you you’re “just going through a phase.”
But does it really matter if you’re attracted to guys, too?
Then you FINALLY score a girlfriend…
…and it’s a HUGE surprise to everyone else if she’s not butch.
I mean, how can you tell who the dominant person is in the relationship?
So eventually you just learn to ignore all of the ridiculous nonsense that people spew.
You learn that you shouldn’t change at all, no matter what.
Because as long as you’re comfortable with who you are and how you present yourself, that’s what’s most important.
And let’s be honest… why wouldn’t you want to be anything but your flawless self?