By now, we’re all more than aware of the fact that sometimes, straight people say some pretty dumb things to lesbians. From questions about “the guy in the relationship” to inquiries about a threesome, lesbians have heard just about everything. Here’s a list of some of the most outrageous (but all-too-common) things gay girls are sick of hearing.
1. “If you don’t want to date me, just tell me—don’t lie about being gay.”
There are some things in life people lie about, like saying you did the class reading or that you don’t have any Nickelback on your iPod. Saying you’re a lesbian is generally not one of those things.
2. “Have you ever been with a guy, though?”
Have you ever been with a girl, though?
3. “If you date girls who look like boys, why don’t you just date a boy?”
Attraction isn’t just physical, so whether or not someone looks like the opposite gender based on your rigid views of gender and sexuality is irrelevant.
4. “Who’s the guy in the relationship?”
Hopefully neither. I mean, we are talking about lesbians, right?
5. “Can I watch?”
Yes, and the cost of admission is that of seeing an IMAX movie (popcorn not included). Still interested? Yeah, didn’t think so.
6. “Threesome?”
Two’s company, three’s not something I want to do with you, ever.
7. “So, like, how do you two have sex?”
Hang on, let me just whip out this handy diagram I have on me at all times to answer this question.
8. “That’s so hot.”
So is pizza.
9. “You’re way too pretty to be a lesbian!”
Wow, I should consider myself lucky. Most lesbians end up being forced to live under bridges and tell riddles for a living, but since I’m a pretty one, I get to live in society with everyone else!
Whoever said, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question” has clearly never been asked any of these. Have any other questions we should add to this list, collegiettes?