When "Not Tonight..." Becomes Every Night: Why Some College Women Have A Low Sex Drive

College is known for several things: toga parties, all-nighters in the library, and most importantly, hooking up. In a sexed-up culture of lingerie parties, walks of shame and f*ck lists, sex is nearly inescapable. If you’re not doing it, thinking about it, or trying to get it (if not some combination of the three), then there must be something wrong with you, right? Not so fast. Lackluster libido isn’t reserved for the menopausal – roughly 30 percent of women experience problems with low sex drive, and college women aren’t immune.

The truth is, there is a myriad of factors that affect your sex drive: stress, hormonal fluctuations, and losing that “spark” in a long-term relationship are just a few of the common culprits. Not to mention that sex drive varies, naturally, among people. The first important thing to remember is that libido always ebbs and flows, and there’s no “normal” standard to compare yourself to.
 
But that doesn’t mean that a lagging libido is something you just have to put up with. If you’ve noticed a sudden drop in your desire to get it on, or if it’s an ongoing problem that’s causing stress in your relationship or your life, you can do something about it. And the first step is understanding the cause(s) behind your lack of sex drive.
 
Why it happens: Physical Causes
 
There are plenty of physical causes that can be blamed. Certain disorders that make sex painful can lead women to associate a roll in the hay with pain rather than pleasure, for example. But among college women, the most common are fatigue, alcohol, medications (antidepressants are a common libido killer), and stress. According to womentowomen.com, “The body interprets ongoing stress as life threatening, so naturally, survival is prioritized ahead of pleasure. Stress over-burdens the adrenal glands, ‘stealing’ the substances normally used to make estrogens and testosterone, both vital to desire and sexual response.”
 
Hormonal changes could also be the problem. If you’ve ever noticed yourself craving sex more during certain parts of your cycle, that’s your hormones at work – so if you’re experiencing a chronic lack of desire, a hormonal imbalance could be to blame. Many women complain of decreased desire while on hormonal birth control (especially the Pill). A 2010 study found that women who used a hormonal method of birth control, particularly the Pill, had lower levels of sexual desire and arousal than women who chose non-hormonal methods (like condoms) or no contraceptives at all.

Sarah, a sophomore at Hofstra University, noticed a difference in her sex drive after beginning the Pill. “I started taking the Pill three years ago, and soon after I did, I noticed a severe decline in my sex drive,” she says. “Prior to this, I was always in the mood when my boyfriend was around. Whenever we had alone time, we always had sex. The summer that I got on the Pill, we would be seeing each other constantly, but compared to summers past, there was far less sex. Whenever we were around each other, I was happy and comfortable, but I didn't feel horny.”
 
Sarah’s not alone, but she recognizes that her lack of sex drive has started to affect her relationship and her happiness. “This feeling has continued for a couple of years,” she says. “My boyfriend and I are still really happy, but we don't have a lot of sex. I've considered getting off of the Pill many times, but it is the method that fits my lifestyle and wallet the best. I am considering getting an IUD, but I know that it can be painful to insert, and it is also expensive. But at this point, it would be great if I could get some of my sex drive back. I'm 21; I feel like I shouldn't feel this way until I'm 40.”