Although the Halloween episode of This Is Us turned out to be more of a chapter in Rebecca’s story than the Big Three’s (I’m billing Mandy Moore for my new Kleenex budget, btw), “The 20’s” proved that regardless of the time period, everyone is totally lost in this decade of life. Leading up to this double flashback episode, I somehow underestimated that the grown kids would be equally consumed by their own adult concerns and their individual feelings left over from the loss of Jack about a decade ago. Such a balance displayed that the life-altering moments of your teens can shape your twenties to the point of feeling stuck in the past when you’re supposed to be molding your future. As Rebecca said, the “middle” part of life can be the hardest.
“The 20’s” revealed that in 2008, Randall was anticipating the birth of Tess, Kate was a waitress caught up in a flirtation with a married man, and Kevin’s career was such a mess that he tried to steal his friend’s part in a movie. Although a devout This Is Us fan knows that anxiety-prone Randall was a wreck leading up to his firstborn’s arrival, his siblings seemed to subtly envy his settled life with a wife and a house. Kevin and Kate represented what most of our twenties are filled with: uncertainty, rejection, and a desperation that, on our good days, we can mask as motivation.
Crushing the 20s or the 20s crushing you? #ThisIsUs pic.twitter.com/9M3JIW0myL
— This Is Us (@NBCThisisUs) November 1, 2017
While Kate was still somewhat of a novice in romance, Kevin had been married and divorced after what was basically his only serious relationship. We all know the girl who hasn’t had much luck with love and is still struggling to find a good partner in her twenties. Kate summed up this fruitless search with a comment that I could easily apply to any aspect of my twenties, telling her married conquest, “I’m just tired of waiting for things to feel right, and nothing has felt right in a long time.” Girl, preach.
Kate has faced struggle in some way or another throughout her life, but things have come fairly easily to Kevin (based on what we’ve seen—we’ve yet to see his immediate reaction to Jack’s death). In this episode, Kevin was basically the star athlete or popular girl next door who finally left school and realized that they couldn’t use their natural charm to win over the world. It can be a rude awakening to suddenly face an environment that you can’t easily manipulate. As Kate looked for romantic validation, Kevin desperately sought professional success, which, as we saw in a past episode, was the only means of work he had left after he was forced to end his time as an athlete.
For people in their twenties, society emphasizes huge career success and a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love, but as both the 2008 and present-day versions of Kevin and Kate prove, achieving at least one of these is no small feat. Being 28 in 2008, the two reminded young viewers that there is no shame in being this lost so close to the milestone of 30 years old.
“Life has a middle, and middles can be the hardest… you can lose yourself… but if you’re lucky, you can have it all.” #ThisIsUs
— Kelsey Wilson (@Kwilandchill) November 1, 2017
However, when Kevin and Kate joined their family to celebrate Tess’s birth, Randall was viewed as the picture of perfect adulthood. They marveled over the size of his house and joked about him having sex “at least once,” as if they wanted to remind themselves that they had more confidence than Randall during childhood. To an outsider, Randall looked like he had all that we aspire toward, but his storyline particularly spoke for those in their twenties who may have settled down early but now face the mature decisions and lifestyles that many people their age may not understand. Randall may have “had it all,” but he also had extreme anxiety about becoming a father, and having neither his biological nor adoptive father in the picture definitely didn’t help his nerves.
Life doesn’t become easier once someone has achieved that trifecta of love, babies and career. Then again, if you didn’t know that after watching this show, you’re clearly missing a big message. Maybe you’re a Kate who wants partnership or a Kevin who wants public recognition. Maybe you’re the Randall, who has always had everything figured out despite how terrifying it is to you. There’s no definite or normal path for your twenties to take, but the common theme that This Is Us emphasized is a kind of wonder about whether things can get better beyond this point.