If there’s one person we can think of who seems carefree and comfortable in her own skin, it’s probably Jennifer Lawrence. But the Oscar-winning Hunger Games star, who has quickly become a household name and one of the world’s most sought-after actresses, showed a more vulnerable side in a recent interview with The New York Times. She admitted that she doesn’t always feel quite as confident as her larger-than-life personality might suggest.
When asked about how she’s changed in the few short years since she achieved worldwide fame, she responded: “I don’t feel like I’m being dragged by anything anymore. I feel more in control. I’m calmer. I know that there’s no point to feeling anxious all day, so I try not to. I’m still scared, but it’s about different things. Now, I worry about — [Trails off and shifts a bit uncomfortably on the sofa.] O.K., get ahold of yourself, Jennifer. This is not therapy.”
Her interviewer, Brooks Barnes, prompted her to continue. “You want to know how I’ve changed? I’m so scared to say anything now. I can see every negative way that people can take it, and I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining. ‘Oh, she’s so conceited now. Oh, she’s so jaded now.’ It probably comes from Googling myself. If it were up to me, I would not talk. I would just act.”
Wait, Jennifer Lawrence Googles herself? Isn’t that, like, the number one thing most celebrities say they shouldn’t and won’t do? “You try being 22, having a period and staying away from Google,” she said. “I once Googled ‘Jennifer Lawrence Ugly.’ [Laughs] Do I sound bitchy?”
Honestly, though, who hasn’t Googled themselves, or taken any extra measure just to try and find out what people think of them? It’s like when Formspring was all the rage in middle school—we all knew that by signing up we were just asking for hurt feelings and information we’d end up wishing we never knew, but we couldn’t resist. Perhaps the destructive behavior is not our need to know how people truly see us—good, bad, or ugly—although we certainly wish we could go without it. Perhaps it’s people’s need to share their opinions about others—often people they don’t even really know—on a public forum like the Internet. What does anyone have to gain from calling Jennifer Lawrence, or anyone else for that matter, “ugly”?
So, in answer to your question, Jennifer: no, you don’t sound bitchy at all. It’s how anyone in the world would react to being scrutinized to such an extreme level—and most of us wouldn’t handle it as well as you do. “I’m going to leave here and think, Oh God, why couldn’t I just have been cool and confident?” she said of the interview. But take it from us, J-Law, it’s candid, genuine, grounded moments like these that make you the absolute coolest.