We can all relate to the struggles of being single and trying to navigate the dating world full of hookups, ghosting and “talking”—phew! It’s tough to be a single girl. Whether you’re surrounded by friends who all have SOs, or you’re constantly being asked by your grandparents when you’re going to “find a nice guy/girl,” or you just want someone to cuddle with, it’s normal to feel lonely and in need of some love.
But it’s not just us college women who understand how difficult (and maybe a little scary) it can be trying to date someone in the 21st century—monsters have it just as rough as we do.
The third installment of the Hotel Transylvania movie franchise, Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation, is out today, and proves that the monster dating world is just as treacherous as the human one. From unrequited love, online dating fails and disastrous dates, Drac (Adam Sandler) gets pretty relatable in his attempts at romance. Even vampires deserve a chance at true love, it’s just too bad he doesn’t get it.
1. Finding a good date is basically impossible
We have Bumble and Tinder, and the monster world has Zinger. Just how we spend hours swiping right, Drac spend hours on the app trying to find a date and ends up not finding anyone. Sounds just like us.
2. Sometimes food is the cure for all heartbreak
When our date stands us up—or we can’t find a date to begin with—the best way to cure our loneliness is definitely food. Drac, fed up with his Zinger search, asks the monster version of Siri to just “find someone” for him, and monster Siri responds with the best Dim Sum restaurants in the area. An unfortunate mistake, but also a great alternative solution to his problem.
3. Losing the ability to speak in front of your crush is common
We all have that feeling when we see that someone from across the room. Our knees get weak, it seems like they’re the only other person in the room, and we admire them from afar. But when it’s time to actually speak to them, we’re at a loss for words. And when the words do come out, they don’t actually make any sense. For Drac, it’s the same. The second he sees Ericka from across the room, he’s a goner—completely unable to form a coherent sentence.
4. Embarrassing yourself on the first date is always awful
We’ve all experienced an embarrassing moment on a first date, and on a second and third for that matter. When we trip up the stairs or drop food on our shirts, and it’s not that different for Drac when he experiences an unfortunate need to fart in the middle of his first date with Ericka…except for the fact that she tried to poison him with garlic oil (he’s a vampire, BTW).
5. We get so blinded by love, we can’t see the other person’s flaws
Usually we can be so head-over-heels in love that we don’t recognize the not-so-good personality traits of the people we fall for. We overlook a sexist comment, don’t notice how they constantly put us down, or fail to see that they wear the same shirt for three days straight. It’s just like how Drac doesn’t notice that his date attempts to kill him by poisoning his salad. Definitely a red flag.
6. We usually end up falling for the completely wrong people
It’s not hard to find yourself in the completely wrong relationship. You may be in love with the idea of your SO more than you’re actually in love with your SO. Maybe you want a serious relationship and they don’t, or you both love different sports teams. But, luckily that’s usually as far as the conflict goes. For Drac, though, the woman he falls in love with actually wants to kill him—and his entire family. And destroy all of monsterkind. If that’s not a toxic relationship, we don’t know what is.
Fortunately, like we have our best girlfriends to save us from our toxic relationships and prevent us from falling for the wrong person, Drac has his daughter Mavis to come to his rescue—literally.
Make sure to catch Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation in theaters everywhere today, July 17!