If you’re having a bad day, turn to the genius of Twitter to confirm that you’re not the only one. We’ve found 35 just really good tweets from last month about everything from Spicey to “Despacito” to Rihanna. You’re welcome.
1. Don’t remind me
Therapist: what seems to be triggering yo–
Me: 2017, yoga class, everyone losing healthcare, the bachelorette, 2016, LITERALLY ALL THINGS— Mary Lambert (@marylambertsing) July 26, 2017
2. Amazon Prime was the best and worst thing to happen to me
Food: $200
Phone: $150
Rent: $800
Amazon: $46,000
Utility: $200
Someone who is good at budgeting pls help my family is dying— Coximus1 (@Coximus2) July 27, 2017
3. When an SNL writer is goals
Proud to unveil my new, incredibly stupid project: Responding To Trump Tweets Like They Were Texts pic.twitter.com/UUz6AY87iQ
— Josh Patten (@thejoshpatten) July 16, 2017
4. lol subtle
I honestly don’t believe #Trump has Russian ties. They’re made in China. #MAGA
— Peter Serafinowicz (@serafinowicz) July 19, 2017
5. But that would be SO GOOD
Real thought I had: “I hope Sean Spicer doesn’t do Dancing With The Stars because it’s not publicly humiliating enough.”
— Josh Gondelman (@joshgondelman) July 27, 2017
6. 10/10 would hire
Sean Spicer’s Dancing with the Stars résumé:
* Have danced with the devil
* Can waltz around questions
* Nimble enough to hide in bushes— Adam Best (@adamcbest) July 26, 2017
7. uhh
Yeah I was never one of the pretty popular kids in high school but I’m probably the only one on a foot fetish site sooooo who really won
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWilson) July 23, 2017
8. Paris Hilton is QUEEN
“Never pass a mirror without looking in it.” pic.twitter.com/cqyeN0X1Vy
— Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) July 23, 2017
9. The Bold Type 4 life
the bold type tonight pic.twitter.com/xMzad5KBET
— ellie | 2×18 stan (@softshumjr) July 18, 2017
10. It’s so dang hot
Did you know that NYC actually stands for Now You’re Chafin’
— Aaron Chewning (@AaronChewning) July 24, 2017
11. Shade
Remember the annoying ass random people who hosted the VMAs last year lol
— michael (@Chillinlaidback) July 27, 2017
12. *eye twitch*
I’m gonna be 89 years old in a retirement home and still be traumatized when I see back to school commercials
— dana (@ahhdanaa) July 27, 2017
13. Cheers!
PSA to all my friends as you start getting engaged, open bar or I’m a no show.
— Skyler Weishaar (@skylerweishaar) July 25, 2017
14. “There’s no need to call me ‘ma’am,’ professor”
Chick-fil-a employees be calling me sir like I didn’t go to high school with them, like fr are you good b? Blink twice if you’re in danger
— mookie (@MettaWorldZeke) July 23, 2017
15. I’m done
— Common White Girl (@CommonWhiteGrl) July 26, 2017
16. Lol how rude
Trump is terrible. Pence is terrible. Ryan is terrible. Sessions is terrible. McCain is terrible. I am wonderful & Emmy nominated. Thank U.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) July 25, 2017
17. Not everyone’s hyped for Shark Week…
I am convinced that people who are excited about shark week are people who haven’t actually watched shark week.
— Coach Hoffman (@Hoffaritaville) July 25, 2017
18. Wait, this is brilliant
yo what if instead of shark week they had dog week that was just 7 straight days of good boys. imagine the happiness
— Emily Masi (@emilymasi_) July 25, 2017
19. I’ll take a glass of wine and Netflix over socializing any day of the week
I have whatever the opposite of FOMO is. FOBO? Fear of being out.
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) July 20, 2017
20. I guess?
If I were the Bachelorette I’d probably fall in love with a camera operator.
— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) July 26, 2017
21. #logic
“He’s not like that in real life.”
Stop.
Is the internet real?
Yes.
Are the people on it living?
Yes.
Then he’s like that in real life.— Patrick S. Tomlinson (@stealthygeek) July 6, 2017
22. I’m shook
Today I learned that @britneyspears rejected @demariojackson_ from #TheBachelorette in 2008 pic.twitter.com/gvUXQKOYnw
— caleb stark (@calebstark) July 23, 2017
23. Hi, I’m dying
me, after my 4th cup of coffee: *googles how much coffee can you drink without dying*
— Her Campus (@HerCampus) July 25, 2017
24. Literal post-grad probs rn
Honestly thought I’d be famous by now fuck gotta get a job
— CovertOPS (@ZakKOcovert) July 26, 2017
25. Forever 21, I’m looking at you
There must be a secret password one can whisper at chain retail stores for another register to open immediately. Asking for a friend.
— Josh Clark (@ehsvikingsclark) July 27, 2017
26. I’m preparing for my career as a videographer and taste tester
hobbies include but not limited to: watching wedding videos and bawling while eating flavor blasted gold fish
— katie buck (@katiebvck) July 27, 2017
27. When the bomb drops
LUSH DID N O T pic.twitter.com/AQuJxX9OhO
— kayla loves sasha (@swiftptx) July 23, 2017
28. Desperate and proud
1. don’t pick up the phone, you know he’s only calling cause he’s drunk and alone.
me: pic.twitter.com/1E4zywcP5B
— jeff (@hunninut) July 22, 2017
29. BuzzFeed quizzes are how I get life advice, okay?
I spent all day writing a Younger quiz because I support iconic tv pic.twitter.com/p4NfoTyb3o
— Christian Zamora (@Christian_Zamo) July 6, 2017
30. This is my 2017 mood
Why is Rih riding a jet ski with her legs crossed? I’m crying pic.twitter.com/A1ZJcJf05c
— (@fentyy) July 7, 2017
31. lol congrats
I was vegan today. It was totally a ok
— Frankie Celenza (@frankiecooks) July 26, 2017
32. MY JAM
“Summertime” has been my sole answer to “what time is it” since 2007. I’m an asshole. pic.twitter.com/IHrpbX3ezl
— Iris Goldsztajn (@irisgoldsztajn) July 27, 2017
33. wut
overheard in starbucks: “i’m already doing the dog’s laundry, why the fuck would i do yours too?”
— wyatt twerp (@holybowlers) July 26, 2017
34. RIP Vine
Everyone says the Internet is forever but when they deleted vine we lost a generation
— Jace Motley (@JaceMotley) July 27, 2017
35. And of course this iconic tweet
Hahahaha one day I’m going to meet this girl and it’s going to be epic. Look at the dates of our tinder texts. pic.twitter.com/DASQK4c5cX
— Josh Avsec (@Wes_03) July 8, 2017