Murder. Strippers. Friendship. Betrayal. No, we’re not talking about a Shonda Rhimes series—we’re talking about the story of Zola and one crazy weekend in Florida gone wrong. By now, you’ve probably already gotten into several debates with your friends over a dream cast for this sure-to-be-film and maybe even fought over who would be whom for Halloween this year. If you haven’t? Here, we’ll catch you up (we promise, it’s worth the read):
In the 15 minutes of your life (that you’ll never get—or want—back) reading this EPIC story, you’ve experienced SO. MANY. EMOTIONS. From your everyday “lol” to complete disbelief, here are the 13 reactions you had through the duration of Zola’s piece of “Twitterature,” as told through Twitter itself.
1. You haven’t finished a single piece of assigned reading, but yes, you will read Zola’s entire short story
When you didn’t read books before but then Zola came out. pic.twitter.com/C8ieH0BiRc
— James Harness (@JamesHarness) October 28, 2015
2. The ~worst~ happens
Between Zola tweet 103 and 104 my phone died and I actually screamed
— Rembert Browne (@rembert) October 28, 2015
3. You realize this has majorly impacted your life
my life is literally changed after the zola story. like i’m a different person now. my whole life perspective is changed.
— judgmentalgay (@judgmentalgay) October 28, 2015
4. Then you recognize nothing will ever be the same
We’re living in a post-Zola world now, you guys! Please don’t tell a story if it’s not Zola-level. No room for sub-Zola storytelling.
— Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) October 28, 2015
5. You tell all your friends about it, and find a new way to test their loyalty
If you can’t handle me at my Jarret you don’t deserve me at my Zola
— Marwa Hamad (@marwahamad) October 28, 2015
6. You start thinking that you know better than Zola
This situation was getting too messy and ZOLA could’ve taken that FIRST $500 she got and got a greyhound ticket back to where she came from!
— milf bitch (@nicolemilfie) October 28, 2015
7. But honestly, you know you’ll never compare
Zola’s epic made me cry. It made me laugh. It made me hurt. I FELT. She’s up there with Zora Neale Hurston, Nella Larsen, and Toni Morrison.
— Zolanator (@boo_t_meats) October 28, 2015
8. No, really
That Zola story should be taught in creative writing classes. A lot of great usage of Archetypal Character Types and Bildungsroman.
— Deola (@DeolaCola) October 28, 2015
9. You are so invested at this point, you start to feel genuine concern over Zola’s well-being
who wants to go right on ahead and set up this gofundme for zola’s bail once the police find those tweets
— mama africa (@thatgirlsalina) October 28, 2015
10. Because you need more Zola in your life, you’re like:
If you need me, I’ll be spending the rest of my day adapting Zola’s story into the next great cult film. https://t.co/L82Mr5tTNy
— Neil McNeil (@Neil_McNeil) October 28, 2015
11. But we all know there’s nobody better for the job than…
SHONDA RHIMES EMAILING ZOLA RN LIKE pic.twitter.com/ukaQ5tCIQc
— papa ten (@RASHVISION) October 28, 2015
12. Though we’d settle for this, too
Someone contact Sarah Koenig about the Zola story being season 2 of serial @serial
— Anthony Carmen (@nthonyCarmen) October 28, 2015
13. Several hours later…
Still thinking about Zola an hour later. #Lostinthesauce #Lostinthegame pic.twitter.com/FAdLU52uUg
— steph castro (@fashionweak) October 28, 2015