How to Deal with Roommate Money Spending Issues

• If it seems like the responsibility to buy TP always falls on you, Frankle recommends taking your roommates aside and telling them straight out, “Everyone right now put in five bucks. I’m happy to go to the store but I’m not going to pay for it anymore.” No one can argue with that.

Food. Eating someone else’s food can quickly slip from a money issue to a relationship problem. If you rely on the dining hall for most of your meals, it makes the most sense to purchase your own snacks and eat what you buy. However, if you have a kitchen, here are a few helpful strategies to live by:

• First, create a shopping list before you go to the store to limit spending on impulse purchases. Then, have everyone contribute about $20-$40 depending on how many roommates you have, and then use the money to buy the kitchen essentials everyone will eat, like salt, pepper, butter, oil, sugar, ketchup, milk, etc.
• Divide the money left over for personal food, like vegan cookies and certain brands of cereal. This way, you control how much money you spend at the grocery store and everyone can fairly share the food you bought together. Since you won’t have to buy the kitchen essentials as frequently, it is easy for people to pay for their own food the majority of the time.
• Frankle finds that “food is a unique problem because different people eat different amounts at different times,” and a good reason to avoid sharing is because of your friends’ varying appetites. My brother had an issue because his roommates would all share the cost of deli meat since they all enjoyed sandwiches, and one roommate “was using like three slices of each meat on his sandwiches and Mike* felt like he was getting gypped on his share.” These examples seem ridiculous, but it’s not about the amount of money or the amount of meat, but about what it means to other people.

Once these purchases are finalized, here are some helpful tips to make sure you keep the peace, or at least maintain the cease-fire:

Avoid loaning money. Try to make it a personal rule to never loan money. Frankle says, “If someone owes you money and they haven’t paid you back on schedule, the chances of you getting it back diminish every day and the [quality of your friendship] decreases exponentially.” If someone ever forgets her wallet, Frankle suggests giving the money to her instead of loaning it, and say something like, “You know I don’t like doing this, so don’t worry about paying me back but I’m not going to do this again.” Failing to pay a friend back is far worse for a relationship than refusing to loan money to a friend.

Use labels. Putting a quick and friendly post-it on your lunch for tomorrow or your expensive fabric softener is perfectly acceptable roommate etiquette.

Save all of the important receipts. Whether you save the receipt for the TV or a big trip to the supermarket, these will come in handy in the future when tension starts to rise. It is helpful to keep track of who spends what, and even write on the back of the receipt who paid how much of the total.

When something seems unfair, talk about it. Letting your resentment build about a small money issue can cause it to turn into a major strain on your friendship. As Frankle puts it, “Money is a great way people demonstrate who they are. Count yourself very lucky if you learn that lesson in your [teens] and twenties.” *name changed. Sources:

1. Neal Frankle, the author of the book “Why Smart People Lose a Fortune,” is a certified Financial Planner. Check out his blog on money managing: The Wealth Pilgrim (wealthpilgrim.com)
2. Kelly Pagano, student at UCSB
3. Jeff Buffum, student at Ithaca College
4. http://www.stateuniversity.com/blog/permalink/Managing-your-Money.html
5. http://wealthpilgrim.com/2009/06/is-it-possible-to-lend-money-to-someone...