Matt Paule

More by Matt Paule

Real UCF Guy: Different Places, Different Faces 8/29/2012	Welcome back. It’s nice to see you again. I was kind of starting to miss you. Well, I hope your summer was everything you were hoping for. If this is your first World Famous Real UCF Guy Dating Advice Column Article, thanks for taking a look. I hope reading these articles will help you as you wander through the Forbidden Forest of College Relationships. Think of me as Hagrid, but a little better looking. Not by much, though. Well, enough with rekindling our friendship–and don't worry–I'll text you Good Morning every other day. The reason for this week's article is due to an email I received from a little lady at UCF. She is new in college and was wondering why some guys choose to take you on a date to a nice restaurant, while others choose to take you to a bar. Well, this is pretty simple, but I'm going to include what you ladies should be expecting whenever a guy takes you to either of these places. Let's start off with if your man brings you to a bar on the first date. Now, I know what you're thinking: "He's taking me to a bar. He must just want to get me drunk..." Well, not really. He might just be more of a social person and wants you to have a good time with the normal squad he hangs out with. Go ahead and give it a shot (see what I did there). You never know, you may have more fun than you would have sitting in a dark theater, sitting the same way and not talking to each other for two hours while a group of animals try to escape Madagascar to get back to the New York City Zoo.
You Are Now Entering "The Friend Zone" 5/3/2012	He's cute, he's funny, and he's only your friend. You never really imagined what it might be like dating him, but you never really imagined his feelings. Maybe he likes you, eh who cares, after all he is the guy you can ask for advice about your guy problems. So why should he be anything more than just a friend? I'll tell you why, because he is doesn't want to be just a friend. There's a reason he is spending so much time around you. It's because he wants to be with you. Sure you may think that it's just because you're fun to be around, or that he doesn't have any friends besides you. Still these are two pretty good reasons. Sure the negatives to trying to have a relationship might outweigh the positives, but do you think that ever stopped Corey and Topanga from testing the waters? No, it didn't, and they had seven seasons of true, scripted love. You might be scared that if this relationship falls apart then you lost a really good friend, well to add to that, he kind of isn't thinking about that. So neither should you. Try to live for the present, after all none of us can tell the future. At least now you're thinking about what it might be like, cause he's always been thinking about it. Maybe it will be a train wreck; maybe you'll end up getting married. Guess you'll really never know till one of you decides to take the step and talk about it. Most of you ladies have been looking end over end, for a man that can be fun, that can listen to you, and that really cares for you. Well, he is right in front of you.
Catch Me If You Can 4/25/2012	Welcome back to another article from The Real UCF Guy. Now, a very popular question was brought to me this week: "Why do men say that they want a good girl but only chase after skanks?" Well, I'm just going to dive into this topic because the answer is much simpler than you ladies think. First off, I'm going to try and answer this in the perspective of the ages most of you college girls are in, which is 18 to 22. Guys even at 22 are still learning how to act around women, and with that in mind, we tend to do really stupid stuff around you ladies. We are very indecisive, too. We may want something one day, then turn around the following day and make a completely different move. With the background info given, most of us haven't yet completely "matured," and a good portion of us still make decisions with only numero uno in mind. We have no idea of the consequences of our actions until weeks after. So we may act like we really, really like you, but instead we are just trying to be flirty. We are weird – no real other way to cut it. Men can get pretty lazy, too. We don't really like to put the effort into stuff, and we would rather take the easy way around. So sometimes men are going to go for the girl just throwing herself out there then spend weeks trying to talk to the girl that's been sending him signals.
Your Fellow Knight, Your Future President 4/16/2012	Neal Cordero, remember that name boys and girls because you are going to be voting for him as president of the United States in the near future. I sat down with Neal to see what his plans are in the future. Boy, was I in store for a pleasant surprise. Q: Where are you from? How old are you? What is your major? A: I am from San Antonio, Texas aka the great state of Texas. I am 20 years old, and my major is Political Science. Q: Where do you currently work? As what? A: Most recently, I was a session aide at the Florida State Capitol to Representative Scott Plakon and Representative Rich Workman. Both were committee chairs as well as influential republicans in the Florida House of Representatives. Q: What do you plan on becoming in the future? A: My future goals are pretty interesting, at least to me. If things work out the way I see them working out I will be an attorney for a little while and then forge my way through my political career once I am established. I see myself being a state representative, a governor, and ultimately, President of the United States.
My (Guy) Feelings About Feelings 4/13/2012	This week's quick question came from a fellow Her Campus Writer, about why guys hate showing feelings. Well, according to women, men are very hidden and finding an answer is about as easy as selling a ketchup Popsicle to a women in white gloves. Well listen up ladies, guys aren't hiding anything from you, we just have weird ways of showing these things called feelings. From Facebook statuses to the daily attire, women love expressing their feelings to the general public. Looking around the library right now, I can see at least two girls wearing gray sweatpants (not yoga pants), meaning that they are one of two things: in a relationship and are not worried about how they look, or just experienced a break up and are trying to show a slightly more depressed side of themselves. But guys on the other hand, wear usually the same kind of clothing every single day without much thought at all. I wear a vintage basketball jersey if I'm in a good mood, and if I'm sad then I wear, yep you guessed it, a vintage basketball jersey. Guys, most of the time, hate showing their feelings to people. It's simple. We hate drama, so why would we try to start some of our own dosage of the drama. We try and solve our problems on our own, which is also the reason we end up just making them worse. So ladies, if you really want to know what we are feeling, then try turning on ESPN. If you are that interested in us, you should know our favorite teams by this time. Maybe our team just lost a huge game and got eliminated from the playoffs, or our favorite visor-wearing athlete just double bogeyed the ninth hole.
Relationship Tug of War 4/6/2012	This week's magic question from the gentle gender is, "Do men like it when women take charge in the relationship?" Well, in short answer: whatever keeps you happy.
Whatever She Likes 3/27/2012	Welcome back ladies. This week, I had several women ask me questions about why guys hate stuff even though girls love it. So this week I'm going to try and explain why guys hate this stuff that you ladies love. Here are 25 things that woman love and guys hate. Hopefully at the end of this article, you'll hate how much you loved reading this. 1. Talking Most of the time (all the time) when you need to talk, we don't. You may insist it's "for the best," but we beg to differ. 2. Makeup I know what you're thinking, "But I look so much better when I wear it?!" All I have to say to this is: Just a little bit goes a long way. 3. Fruity Drinks We know you love 'em, but to us, they're disgusting. I don't care if it's supposed to taste like cotton candy; it's gross and get it out of my face. 4. Meeting the Parents You always want us to meet the family. You know how much pressure that puts on us? For once, we have to kiss someone's butt, other than yours. 5. Personality Quizzes Finding out what we are going to be in life, or what the rest of our month going to be like is much simpler than you think; even simpler than answering mind-boggling questions in the latest Cosmo. 6. Enrique Iglesias His music just embodies sexual tension, something guys really don't want to hear another man singing and grunting about. We will give him knucks for that stint with Anna Kournikova, whatever that was.
What Did You Call Me?! 3/22/2012	A lad approached me this week who wanted to know my position on pet names. Pet names are the little nicknames girls give you like “babe” and “sweetheart.” Then when we are out with the guys, you walk up to us, nice and sweet-like, and you call us by these names. Well, they may be acceptable whenever it is just you and him, but whenever he's in public, please behave. It's nothing against you being too cute; it's just, you have to leave us with some kind of manhood while we are with the guys. You may think you know your man, that you have him completely figured out, and maybe that you even have him on a "leash," but every guy loves feeling like a man. So, when you give us these names in public, you're hurting our ability to be a man.
Why No Reply Romeo? 3/14/2012	Waiting, waiting, waiting. You're just waiting for him to text you back with the lingering thought in the back of your mind that he really isn't anywhere near his phone anymore. Well, you're probably right, he probably stopped texting you. Now you're wondering, "Why?" As in, why would he just stop texting me in the middle of a conversation? Now you'll see that us guys have used about every excuse in the book for "forgetting" to text back, but the real answer is, "We don't care." It sounds a bit harsh, so let me try and explain this better for you ladies. Let's start with a comparison of males and females. What are you thinking about right now? Well, you could write a Magic Tree House book with all of the stuff that women are thinking about at any time of the day, but with guys it's really simple. Nothing. Nothing's ever really going through our heads. Maybe once in a while when we are hungry, but other than that, nothing. So if we can take what we learned about guy's thoughts, we don't care. Not like we don't have any feelings for you lovely ladies, but what we are currently doing is much more important than any series of emoticons you are sending. Sometimes you will get that reply though, and it may be a really meaningful message, or it could just be, "Yea." It really all depends on the mood we are in. Us guys can be a tough breed to figure out. One second we couldn't be happier, and then the next second we are mad as hell at something that most likely doesn't make any sense. You think you may know your man, but remember: he is a man. Now, you want to know, of course, what you can do to get that reply. You can truly work as hard as you can but, you really aren’t going to be able to change normal animal instincts.

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