Connor Doherty

Unless you are a martian or a homeschooled jungle freak, I can assume that you have seen Mean Girls and have realized it’s the greatest thing to happen to mankind since Diet Coke. The first thing I do when I meet someone is slip a Mean Girls quote into conversation to see if he or she is worthy of my time. If they do not immediately get the reference, I know they are not a person worth knowing and that I should avoid them like I avoid the bathroom of an MIT frat house.

Mean Girls is the one pop culture phenomena that every teenager is expected to know. If you are unfamiliar with the film, then to put it frankly: YOU CAN’T SIT WITH US. Mean Girls has taught us many valuable life lessons like: always assume that your friend is talking about you behind your back and you can’t just ask people why they are white. And now, we are a little less than a year away from the film’s 10th anniversary and a lot has changed since then...

Paula Deen has been diagnosed with diabetes (Fun Fact Paula: BUTTER IS A CARB). We’ve had our first black President (he’s not from Michigan). And the formerly “grool” Lindsay Lohan has committed social suicide roughly 45 times (and that’s not counting the hot mess that is “Liz and Dick”). With this time lapse, some people have stopped quoting the movie because they no longer think it is fetch. Well, you know what I say to those people? BOO YOU WHORES. If anything, Mean Girls is more relevant than ever. With the creation of hilarious YouTube series like, “The Most Popular Girls In School” and the perfectly betchy website, “Betches Love This”, we have great examples of why Mean Girls is, and will always be, relevant: a pretty girl with a betchy sense of humor will always be someone worth worshipping.

As the majestic and dreaded goddess Whoopi Goldberg once said, “I don’t have pet peeves like some people. I have whole kennels of irritation.”  I am not entirely sure how applicable or relevant that quote is to this article, but one of my life missions is to quote Whoopi Goldberg as much as possible. Anyways, now that I am finishing my second semester at Northeastern, I can honestly say that I love our university and am happy that I came here. At the same time, there are some things about Northeastern that make me want to douse myself with gasoline and drop a match. With that being said, here are my Husky Pet Peeves that I am sure most, if not all, Northeastern students share.

The fact that half of Northeasetrn students do not know how to cross the street.

Now, I’m not trying to pick on international students because they aren’t the only ones who do this, but it seems like half of the student body is oblivious to the proper way to cross the street. Generally, you wait for the crosswalk light or cross when there are no cars coming. That isn’t the case at Northeastern. Here, people like to cross the street just as the light switches to green and then decide that they can’t make it so they run back. Or better yet, they just stop in the middle of the street and look like a deer in headlights. Also included in this pet peeve, are the people who are too busy texting to look where they are going. I once saw an Asian girl almost get hit by the subway because she was too busy instagramming to pay attention to where she was going.

That one guy in Rebecca's or Curry who decides it's okay to take up an entire 5-person table.

There is nothing more devastating than the moment you realize you aren’t a Disney Princess. As children, we are taught that if we want something badly enough (and that if we befriend woodland creatures) we will somehow marry someone extremely handsome and successful and never have to work a day in our lives. LIES. In reality, woodland creatures have rabies and if you try to pet a raccoon it WILL claw your eyes out, and the only godmother we have is that elderly woman we see once a year who smells like a mixture of moth balls and hospice. Another tragic reality is that you can’t just break out into song whenever you like and participate in elaborate dance numbers. Try doing that in downtown Boston at 11 pm and see what happens, (You’ll most likely get stabbed.) The biggest lie, however, is that we will find our “prince charming”. I mean, it is possible to find someone you love, but  do you know how hard it is to find someone attractive AND rich?! It’s borderline impossible.  And most of us don’t have the time or the energy to marry someone old for their money, sign a prenup and wait for them to die so we can inherit their money.

As it has been clearly established by now, Disney exists only to build up and later destroy our expectations on love, animal-human relations, and happily ever afters. So while we may not be able to meet and marry a handsome prince, at least we can take the time to appreciate the real Disney princesses we see on a daily basis.

There are two questions I ask myself on a daily basis. The first: What ever happened to Hoku? And the second: Why have I been watching TLC for over five hours straight? I still have no good answer to the first question (Do people even know who Hoku is? “Another Dumb Blonde” anyone?) I have pondered the second question, however, and have come up with an answer that partially explains the bizarre phenomenon. To me, TLC is just like Sarah Jessica Parker’s face. It’s disturbing and unholy yet you cannot look away because it’s just so fascinating. ( I was going to use a car crash analogy instead but whenever I get a chance to throw shade at Sarah Jessica Parker I take it.)

Maybe we watch shows like “Hoarders” because it makes us feel a little less crazy about our own lives. It puts things in perspective. I mean, sure my room is a little messy, but at least I don’t have 45 cats living in my kitchen. Or maybe it’s because watching shows like “Say Yes To The Dress” allow us to unwind and forget about real issues and focus on trivial ones such as which of the two unflattering dresses should the bride pick. (Don’t pick the lace one, girl! It does nothing for your curves!!) Or maybe you just really like watching fat toddlers wrestling pigs in the mud. So whether you hate TLC or love it, here’s a shout out to TLC and all of the things we’ve learned from it.