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Allie Duncan

More by Allie Duncan

What to Expect in Your First College Relationship (& How to Make it Work)

9/10/2014

You’re a few weeks into your freshman year of college and a certain campus cutie has caught your eye in class. But you’ve never had a college relationship, and you know it’s so different than high school. There isn’t a Sadie Hawkins dance for you to make your move, and you don’t spend a full school day in the same building with him five days a week. So, how do you start a relationship in college? How do couples make it work? What should you expect? Read on to learn how college relationships are different than high school ones.

You’ll have more to learn about each other

College is different than high school in that the people you meet won’t know a lot about your past. You probably haven’t met your new boyfriend’s parents yet and you have no idea who his friends are from home. “It was really hard for me to accept that my boyfriend had ‘another life’ at home,” says Emily from Indiana University. “I wanted to be a part of it, and eventually I was, but it was a struggle at first to hear about all these people and things I had no idea about.”

You can have sleepovers together

For most girls in high school, it probably would have been impossible to have a sleepover with her boyfriend. Now that you’re in college, you can have a sleepover with your guy as many nights as you want! There aren’t any parents around to say no and no one is checking in on you at night. “My boyfriend and I have sleepovers a few times a week,” says Jill from University of Denver. “It’s not a big deal in college, and I love being able to see him at the end of my day.”

You might have roommate tension

Your Most Awkward Hook-up Moments (& How to Solve Them!)

5/18/2014

We’ve all been a part of moments we’d rather not remember, and that’s especially true when it comes to awkward hook-up situations. What can be worse than accidentally calling the cute guy kissing your neck by your ex’s name? Or having your roommate unexpectedly come home early and walk in on you and your guy? Here at HC, we’re committed to making sure you are prepared for anything collegiette life throws your way. So we’ve solved your most awkward moments – keep reading for the scoop!

So Awk: You Call Your Hook-up By the Wrong Name

“I had hooked up with this really attractive guy a few times, and it was always amazing,” says Kristen, a student at Pomona College. “We were right in the middle of things, and I accidentally called him by one of my guy friends’ names! It was mortifying to say the least, and he didn’t call me again after that.” If this has ever happened to you, then you know how horrible the situation can be. You’re embarrassed, he’s turned off, and you’re not sure how to move on from it. And whether you called him by a friend’s name, your ex’s, or a name you don’t even recognize (hey, it happens!), you want to fix the situation as soon as possible. Here’s how:

How to Tie up Loose Ends in an Ambiguous Relationship Before Summer

5/2/2014

Spring semester is finally winding down, and it’s time to prepare to leave campus for the summer. Whether you’re going home for a few relaxing months off or you’re headed to a major city for an incredible internship (or somewhere in between), there are a few loose ends at school you need to tie up so you can focus on the summer months ahead. Do you have a friend with benefits that you’d like to be more? Is there a cute guy in your class that you’ve been crushing on? No matter what your situation, Her Campus has the answers to sealing the deal in any ambiguous relationship!

Situation #1: I Have a Friends With Benefits Situation That Needs to Change

Friends with benefits relationships are typically a great way to have fun with a guy when you’re not necessarily interested in having a committed relationship. However, after spending so much time together, there’s a chance that you’ll end up wanting to date your guy. Or, you’ll tire of the situation altogether and want to end things. In either scenario, what’s a girl to do? We spoke to college girls across the country who have been in this position before to see how they handled the situation!

“I probably didn’t handle this very well, but once I was done with my friend with benefits, I kind of just stopped talking to him altogether,” says Claire, a student at the University of Missouri. “I ignored his texts and calls and avoided him on campus. He got the message, obviously, but it was really mean!”

HC's Guide to Safe Sexting

1/23/2014

Technology has become a driving force in our everyday lives so it’s no surprise that we can now use it to spice up our sex lives, too. Do you have a new crush who you want to move things along with? Send a sext! Have you been hooking up with a guy but it’s getting stale? Send a sext! Have a long-distance boyfriend who you can’t see very often? Send a sext! The best part about sexting is that it’s fun for everyone, no matter what your relationship status is… that is, of course, as long as you do it right! We’ve all heard the horror stories of sexting gone wrong, so Her Campus is here to give you the scoop on how to have safe sext!
 
Rule #1: Have Anonymous Sext

The Top 5 Rules for Staying Friends With Your Ex

1/15/2014

Whether you’ve said it yourself or heard it from an ex-boyfriend, we have all heard some version of the line, “I think we’re better off as friends.” And while in the moment it sounds like the worst idea you’ve ever heard, later you start to come around. Your ex is someone you care about, and you presumably had great times together, so having him in your life as a friend will be just as fun, right? Right! But there are some rules to follow to ensure your friendship is a success. To help, we have put together a guide to point you in the right direction!
 
Rule #1: Show Some Respect

Regardless of why the two of you broke up, at one point you cared a lot for each other. In order to stay friends, you must honor the relationship you once had. “After my boyfriend of two years and I broke up, I spent a lot of time trashing him to my girl friends,” says Jessie, a student at the University of Missouri. “I was really mad that he didn’t want to be together anymore, and I wanted people to think I had moved on. I said a lot of things that I didn’t mean, and they got back to him. He was so hurt that he didn’t want anything to do with me after that.” You may be thinking that he is the worst person to have ever walked the earth, but keep it to yourself. Someday in the future you may want him back in your life (in any capacity), and that will only happen if you have shown respect for each other after your break-up, which means no trash-talking, no spilling secrets, and no over-sharing of details.

Rule #2: Give It Time

5 Signs You’re a Serial Monogamist

1/9/2014

We all know that friend who hasn’t been single in, perhaps, her entire life. It might even be you, who knows? Typically that person doesn’t know that she’s a serial monogamist. Like Taylor Swift, she just thinks she falls in love easily. But we all know, it’s much more than that.

But first things first: what’s the difference between a serial monogamist and a serial dater? We enlisted the help of Stephan Labossiere, certified relationship expert and author of How to Get a Woman to Have Sex With You… If You’re Her Husband. “A serial monogamist always wants to be in a relationship,” says Stephan. “A serial dater is not trying to take it that far. A serial monogamist is seeing only one person at a time, while the dater can be seeing multiple people at one time. A monogamist embraces commitment, while the dater is not trying to be tied down.”

So how do you spot a serial monogamist? How do you know if you are one? Her Campus has the signs to look out for!

Sign #1: You’re always in a relationship.

Of all the signs that you’re a serial monogamist, this is probably the most obvious. Whether it’s a 5-week fling or a 3-year love, you’re never without a boyfriend.

“I’m a senior in college, and I have been single for probably a total of a month of my dating life,” says Ally*, a student from the University of Illinois. “I know it’s weird, but I love having a boyfriend. I am really uncomfortable being single.”

5 Ways To Make Your Hook-Up Buddy (Not) Want to Date You

1/1/2014

Bzz, Bzz. That’s the sound of your phone buzzing at 2 a.m. with a text “Hey, want to come over and watch a movie?” A movie? At 2 a.m.? No, no, no - that’s code for “Do you want to hook up?” and by now you know the drill. It’s sad but true: you’re a booty call. Maybe you’re tired of the endless hooking up, the unrelenting horny guy or even just the lack of sleep; whatever your reason, you’re done being a booty call. It’s time to get “your” man on the same page. Follow these tips and trust us, he definitely won’t want to see you again.
 
1. Tell Him You Want a Relationship

Since your relationship until now has been limited to late-night hook-ups and maybe even a little sexting, there is no better way to stop being a booty call than by pushing for a relationship. The next time you see him, start dropping hints about how happy you are that the two of you are going to be official soon. Make sure to mention that you have already told your mom about him (“she thinks you’re so sweet!”), that you recently started planning a "couple’s retreat" spring break trip, and oh yeah!—you just can’t believe how quickly you fell in love. Swoon. Visions of a psychotic girlfriend will flood his mind (almost instantly – lucky you), and soon he won’t ever want to see you again. Bear in mind, however, that you have to be prepared to be completely done with your booty call – he will definitely be scared away!
 
2. Experience Hygiene Failure

How to Get A Guy To Ask You Out In 5 Steps

11/15/2013

Imagine that you’ve been spending time with a really cute guy, and you’re starting to have feelings for him. He hasn’t made a move yet and you definitely want him to ask you out on a date. The only problem is, you aren’t sure how to encourage him to ask you out without being too obvious about your feelings for him. So what’s a girl to do? Her Campus, with the help of J.M. Kearns, relationship expert and author of Shopping for Mr. Right, has the answers you’re looking for in five easy steps!

Step 1: Get Noticed

Okay so you may or may not have been admiring this campus cutie from afar. Now that you’re interested, you have to put yourself on his radar. Whether it’s sitting next to him in class on a regular basis or mentioning something to him in passing, it’s important that he starts to recognize who you are. “I really liked this guy that I worked with, but I wasn’t sure he even really knew who I was,” says Claire*, a junior at the University of Missouri. “I started to work harder so that I would stand out to him and made my presence obvious at work. Eventually, he started a conversation and things moved from there.”

Get his attention by noticing things he’s interested in. Does he wear a Chicago Blackhawks jersey to class sometimes? Ask him if he’s planning to watch the upcoming game. Is there a big test coming up in the class? Take a seat next to him and ask how he plans to study for the exam. Do the two of you have mutual friends? Mention how funny you think it is that you two never crossed paths before. Check out our article on how to get a guy to notice you for more tips and tricks!

Step 2: Start a Conversation

The Dos and Don'ts of Letting Things Slide With Your Guy

11/12/2013

There are always times in your relationship when you wonder what your guy could possibly be thinking during a disagreement. Doesn’t he understand why you’re mad? Haven’t you had this same argument hundreds of times? There are definitely situations that warrant an argument and there are times when it’s okay to let things slide. So how do you tell the difference between the two? What really is a big deal and what’s not? With the help of Julie Spira, dating and relationship expert and founder of CyberDatingExpert.com, Her Campus will go through five different scenarios of collegiette complaints and let you know when and when not to let things slide with your guy.

Complaint #1: He doesn’t want to spend time with my friends

It can be frustrating to have a different group of friends from your guy because, in addition to your family, both your friends and your boyfriend are the most important people in your life. You want to spend time with them both, but lately, you’ve had to choose between them.

When it’s a big deal
This is a problem if your boyfriend consistently refuses to spend time with your friends, because in turn, this can ruin your friendships. “It took me a long time to realize this, but my boyfriend was completely alienating me from my friends and family,” says Melissa*, a senior at Indiana University. “He refused to spend time with them and became extremely angry if I did anything without him.” If something similar is going on with you and your man, it’s time to stand up for yourself.

How to Lose a Guy in 10 Ways

11/7/2013

If you’ve ever seen the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, then you know that it takes more than looks and charm to keep a guy interested… even though I am confident that as Her Campus readers, you’re all wonderful! Sadly, however, it takes next to nothing to lose a guy in the early stages of a relationship (unless you’re Kate Hudson), and there are common mistakes that girls make in relationships that often do the trick. So, Her Campus has narrowed down the top 10 mistakes that girls usually make so that you won’t fall victim to the same faux pas. So, here it is…. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Ways…

1. Great Expectations