If you look around campus at any given time, you’ll quickly figure out that too many of the male Noles have no clue what they’re doing when they stock their wardrobes. Well, I’ve polled a bunch of lovely ladies (and men) to figure out just what exactly we guys should throw out or donate to Goodwill. The list could easily reach over 100, but I’ve prioritized.
Collegiettes and Gents, I present to you ten things your boyfriend probably wears, but definitely shouldn’t.
1. Cargos
Seriously, these went out of style (assuming they were ever in style to begin with) ages ago. And cargo pants are no better. The sad thing is, I see these a thousand times a day. Unless your man needs all those pockets for some godforsaken reason or he likes hiking, these should definitely be the first to go.
2. White socks
This is a joke, right? Unless accompanied by his gym clothes or something, the white socks are just unacceptable—especially if he tries to wear them with any kind of footwear besides tennis/gym/running shoes. Fill his sock drawer with black or cool patterned ones while he’s out, and he’ll thank you when he gets back. If not, dump him. At least he’ll have plenty of white socks to use as puppets to help him cope with being newly single.
3. Jorts
The only reason Zac Efron is allowed to pull off jorts is because he’s Zac Efron. Otherwise, your boyfriend just looks like he’s getting ready for White Trash Wednesday, which is the only time they’re tolerable in public.
4. Socks with sandals
No description needed.
5. Shorts when it’s cold out
I know, I know, this is Florida, and shorts are allowed year-round. But your boyfriend just looks moronic on the days when it actually manages to get chilly.
6. Sandals with jeans
The photo above is of the first comment on my Facebook poll about what boyfriends shouldn’t be allowed to wear. It was also the most spirited response (shout-out to Mal!), so it definitely belongs here.
7. Flip-flops. Period.
I’m genuinely upset about this. As a Floridian guy, I thought I was allowed to wear my flip-flops anywhere. Truly, I cannot believe the hatred that flip-flops have gotten in the last week of me polling people—not that it’ll actually stop me from wearing them because hey, I can be a rebel if I want.
8. Clothes that are too big
Does anything look worse than clothes that are too big? Not really, especially when it comes to suits. When you take your man shopping, make him actually try on the clothes in the fitting room so you can stop him from buying the bulky stuff before it’s too late.
9. Clothes that are too small
Alright, I know I said nothing was worse than too-big-clothes, but too-small-clothes come close to a tie. It’s totally fine if your man likes to wear clothes on the smaller side to show off his muscles, but if he just looks plain uncomfortable all day long in what he’s wearing, there’s a serious problem.
10. Side-cut tanks
Chances are, your boyfriend loves his side-cut tank top because it’s his greatest DIY project to date. But really, it just transforms him into a douche, and hopefully you’re smart enough to not be dating a douche. If he so badly wants everyone to see his nipples from all that sideboob side view, he might as well just go shirtless instead.
And there you have it, ten things you should never let your boyfriend wear. We didn’t even get to accessories like lanyards, cloth belts that hang down at the end and different types of sunglasses and hats. Like I said, the list could easily reach 100. Now go clean out your boyfriend’s closet before he gets home because the fashion police are everywhere, and they’re judging him—and by extent, they’re judging you.